Hallelujah...more of You and less of me

dancing "Hallelujah" by Kelley Mooney for our Easter service at church.

Many have complimented me for the dance, for my passion for this country, etc.  And as uncomfortable as I am in those moments, I am also honored by the kind words.  I do seem to be a mover and shaker (I can't help it, I'm wired this way), though I know not all think it's wonderful.  But even amidst the praise, I can't take any credit.  It is my "reasonable service."  My duty.  My gift, wholly possible by God alone.  He could easily have given another the gift.  I am such a failure in grace, love, being a wife...  I'm self-righteous, holier-than-thou, and a jerk.  I'm sarcastic, ugly, and rude.  I am ever these things.  Yet God allows me to be influential and a whole-body worshipper of Him.  

How is that?  

He is mercy.  

He is grace.  

He makes the broken whole.  

He uses the foolish things to confound the wise.  

Who am I?  

A fool for Jesus and a fool for the blessed freedom poured out on this country.  

He makes the ugly beautiful.  Use this fool, Jesus.  And don't ever allow me to think anything good is my doing.  To You alone is all glory and honor and praise. For every good and perfect gift is from above, from the generous Father of lights.  Every good thing can only come from one source:  a good God.  The only true and living God.

"Mary, Did You Know?"

Mary, Did You Know? danced on Christmas Eve.

What you don't see is me rolling my left ankle on (of all places) "The lame will leap" and the incredible pain I am in.  "In my weakness, He is strong."  I am healing well.  It was a little scary at first.  I couldn't even drive my car home after the service.  Yikes!  But I know prayers are going up and though I am a wee bit swollen still, I am functioning on it just fine.  Even did a day walking on it at the Wild Animal Park the other day, so it can't be that bad, right?  Enjoy.  And forgive the wobbles...

To God be the glory!

Dance Your Shoes Off!

He's ALIVE!

The Circle of Life

In April 1995, while I was in (dance) class at Grossmont College, a brightly colored flyer caught my eye on the bulletin board.  It was an audition flyer for the Lion King Parade at Disneyland.

The Lion King is one of my very favorite Disney movies.  The best scene is when Rafiki finds the long, lost Simba.  Simba makes excuse after excuse about why he can't take his rightful place in the "Circle of Life," when Rafiki blindsides him with a sharp whack to the head.  Simba, shocked, asks what that was for.  Rafiki says, "The past is in the past, you can either run from it or learn from it."  Then he swings at Simba again and this time Simba ducks.  Lesson learned.
This movie came out right about the time I had my abortion.  So this lesson was key for me.  I could either remain depressed about what I had done or I could stand up, find hope, and live a purposeful life USING what had happened to me.

So, how appropriate it is that this would be my first professional dancing gig.

Of course, I never imagined I would actually be cast.  A friend told me that she had auditioned half a dozen times before and was always cut.  We decided a free dance class would be worth the drive, got in line with 600 other girls, and went through the cattle call.  I learned the first routine and was immediately cut.

"Well, that was a waste of time," I thought.  My friend and I grabbed our stuff and headed for the door.  I placed my right hand on the bar to open the industrial-style door, and a hand firmly grasped my left arm.  I turned, startled, and noticed it was the choreographer who was holding onto me.  "I'd like you to stay," she said.

Five words that totally changed my life.

I picked up the final routine with no trouble.  My friend said it looked like I had choreographed it.  It felt like it too.  

The next thing I knew, I was holding a casting card.  I was dumbfounded.  "They're going to pay me to dance?"  Ok, so they didn't pay much, but heck! I would have danced for free!!!  I was in total disbelief and thus began the blessing after blessing from the Lord since my surrender to Him.

I danced at Disney for 8 years.  
The Lion King Celebration, 
Hercules Victory Parade, 
A Christmas Fantasy, 
Fantasmic!, 
Light Magic (may it rest in peace...FOREVER. lol!), etc.
And I stage-managed for a few years on Mulan, Parade of the Stars, and The Electrical Parade.  It was a wonderful time.

I am so thankful for God making my dream come true.

Light Magic.  I was "Wiggle Wink."
Yeah, don't even go there.  My knees hurt just thinking about it...and my shins.  

One of my favorite parts ever.  Mistletoe dancer.
Will was one sweaty guy!
And I had to kiss his sweaty cheek all down the parade route.  LOL!
He was sweet, though, and we had a blast!

Midnight rehearsal for the Christmas Parade.
About to sneak up on an unsuspecting cookie.

wailing to dancing

After my abortion, I attended the Silent Voices PAS (Post-Abortion Syndrome) healing workshop.  It was wonderful beyond words and so effective.  While I sat there amongst these other 7 women who had suffered so deeply from the loss of their babies, I began to realize that I must choreograph them.  That Summer, I set to work on a 3-part piece about 8 women suffering through the trauma of their abortions- each unique story, each varying personality.  The following Spring, I set it on dancers from Grossmont College.  I came across these photos today and a card that read:

Kori,  Thanks for letting me be a part of your healing which is what I think this dance is for you.  Thanks also for reminding me that we are truly nothing without God and that we only have to look to Him for all that we need.  Amazing Grace. - how joyful!  Teri

part 1 - grieving
Teri is comforting me in the background.

part 3 - wholeness

 Another note I found simply says, 

"Someday, you and he will dance together in Heaven."

Dancers, present your bodies a living sacrifice

I am teaching a class tomorrow at Saddleback for their dance ministry and I'm so nervous!!!

Why?  I've danced a zillion times in a zillion venues.  I have danced in worship since I first realized I could, and I prefer dancing to Him far above cruise ships, Disneyland, theater, whatever.

I'm nervous because I want to be sure that I communicate the true heart of worship...and, in all honesty, a wee bit because I know my dancing is not "current" according to the world's standards.  What will they think of me?  I hope they don't think of me, but only of Him.

Dancers are a unique sort:  artistic, diva-ish, emotional, creative, competitive.  Some of us are ruthless and cut-throat.  Some of us want to look out for others and to help.  "Are you having trouble with that part of the routine?  Here, let me help you."  Maybe it is sometimes self-serving.  If I can teach it to someone else then I will know it better myself.  Maybe we empathize with those who have trouble picking up the routine because we ourselves have been in that position before.  It is embarrassing and frustrating.

beautiful Marilyn - technician and worshiper

But dance for worship of God...  Everything we know as dancers goes absolutely against the humility, tenderness, selflessness required to take our eyes off us, and set them wholly on Him.  We've been conditioned to look out for number one.  We really need to be looking up to the ONE.

And lifting up their eyes, they saw no one, save Jesus only. ~Mt. 17:8

I often think of this verse when I dance.  "There are going to be a bunch of eyes on me.  Jesus, I want to look up and see only You.  I want to see You in each face.  I want to dance for You.  I want to love them like You.  Help me love them through my dancing."

The technician and worship:  We must get past our ability/training and focus on our motive.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, to that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. ~1 Cor. 13:1-3

If I may... "Though I dance like a genius, can do fifty fouette turns and fly through the air with my legs wrapped around my head, but have not love, it profits me nothing...in the eternal perspective."  What did Jesus say, "I assure you, he has his reward."  Are we dancing for all the world to see and commend us, or are we dancing for "no one, save Jesus only?"  Are we laying up our treasure in heaven?

Winnie dancing her heart.

I actually had a girl quit my dance ministry once (in a huff) because I "never put her in front."  She was amazing. A sweet, beautiful and talented girl with the most fantastic presence.  She thought that I didn't like her dancing.  What a shame...for both of us.  I clearly should have communicated to her what a stunning dancer she was and not assumed that she already knew.  And she shouldn't have presumed to know what I was thinking.  The relationship, though I have apologized and taken the full blame, was never reconciled.

In the same instance, another dancer told me she was so thankful to dance that she'd "dance in a closet as long as she could do it for Jesus."

That is the heart.

The first shall be last...

"...that ye might learn in us not to think of men above that which is written, that no one of you be puffed up for one against another.  For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? nos if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it?" ~1 Corinthians 4:6-7

Having come across this passage today, I felt drawn to it.  A couple of weeks ago, Jamie told me that when I start talking about freedom and this country, I am so passionate and seemingly self-righteous that it leaves no desire for anyone to question me.  Ouch!  I don't like confrontation or criticism and so I wonder if that is why I can be so hard on this subject.  This is hilarious since the things I stand so solidly on (the cross, conservativism, Biblical role of women) are deeply offensive to many and commonly come under sharp criticism.  I guess God likes keeping us out of our comfort zone where we can be stretched.  Also, I was reading one of my new fave blogs and she stated this:

"We are journeying together in this thing we call life. If I have ever appeared to have it all together - I apologize - because I am a very flawed sinner saved by grace. Nothing more."  (Women Living Well)

Truthfully, that is the story for all of us.   I, too, apologize if I have come across like I am totally with it.  I TOTALLY AM NOT.  Spend five minutes with me and you'll quickly see that I get irritated with my kids, am at times indifferent to my husband, have an incredibly critical attitude, can't keep my house clean, and really have to work hard to understand politics.  (Did I mention that I failed and dropped out of poli-sci in college?)   Yeah, those are just the first faults that come to mind.  I can list hundreds of others.

In a culture where media surrounds us with Lindsay Lohan, Obama, Angelina Jolie, and even widely-known Christians, we can easily think highly of these who gain so much attention in the world.  But, really, we all are the same.  It is God who raises one up and sets one low.  And remember "the first shall be last and the last shall be first" in eternity (Matthew 20:16).  You are no less special than anyone else.  "Then Peter opened his mouth , and said, 'Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons.'" (Acts 10:34)

Mostly, I just wanted to apologize for any puffed-up attitude I have had in my writings.  I know there have been some.

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of these." -George Washington

With much love in Jesus,


p.s. Enjoy this dance that parallels this theme.  I can't embed it at this time so you will have to click on the link: Mad World

In every century, on every continent, warriors such as these (unknown God-fearing men great in the kingdom of God) are the ones who press forward the kingdom of God.  They lay aside the distractions of life to do exploits in the spiritual realm.  Whether or not they become famous on earth is beside the point.  They are heroes and heroines nonetheless.  (Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, p. 177)

Great choreography - "Fallin'"

Miriam at the Del Mar Fair

"Bring the Rain" about trials and in honor of our dear Joyce who went to Heaven on June 9. This song was very special to her as she struggled through her cancer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As of 6/27/2010:

We danced this at Joyce's memorial service yesterday, as well. The service was wonderful and really a celebration of life as we anticipate meeting her in heaven.

I Can Only Imagine

My sweet friend, Joyce, is still battling cancer.  In fact, she is in her third bout with it.  She just finished 3 weeks of radiation treatments for a tumor that had appeared on her spine.  We are waiting for the results of her latest tests to know what her current situation is.  

3 weeks ago, I was helping at the youth group and the youth band played "I Can Only Imagine," which always makes me think of Joyce since it is a dance Miriam has performed for a few years that she has loved so much.

I was overwhelmed with the thought of gathering together all Miriam dancers (past & present), the Youth Missions Club for Girls (which Joyce has supervised), and the children in the congregation whom Joyce has such a love for.   I wanted to see these groups come together to present a special gift of love through dance to Joyce.  I also thought it would be special to have the Undespised Youth (our youth group) band play the song as we dance it.  And I felt an urgency to put it together very quickly to be a surprise for Joyce.

I asked my Monday morning women's Bible study to pray about the idea and they loved it.  So, I sent an invitation to the dancers via email and text.  Almost everyone was available.  My pastor agreed that we should try it and do it as soon as possible, so I held a one-day/5-hour rehearsal Saturday, February 27th and we danced it the next morning at our Sunday church services.  Joyce was present at the 2nd service to see it.

I wasn't going to post this on my blog for the most ridiculous reasons: I am embarrassed that it isn't as polished as it would be had I had more time (no fault of the dancers- they are amazing to learn this so quickly and do such a marvelous job)...and the most silly reason, I am not as thin as I once was.  Ugh!   Why is that such a struggle!?  So please forgive me for not sharing with you earlier this God-blessed gift for our sweet Joyce because of my stupid vanity.  (I hope you don't mind my transparency in sharing this secret of my heart with you.  Maybe others will be encouraged to know that I struggle with my vanity and weight too!  I strive for contentment with my appearance.  I am God's work-in-progress.)

Ok, a funny part of this crazy Joyce-dancing week was that when I sent the mass email to the dancers...I ALSO SENT IT TO JOYCE!!!!  AAAAAAHH!  Of course, the instant I hit "send", I realized my enormous mistake.  So, I panicked, called Milo (Joyce's husband) immediately and begged him to chisel his way onto the computer and discreetly DELETE my email.  He, of course, got a great laugh at my expense...and deservedly so.  Haha!  So, needless to say, Milo was in on the whole thing and I'm glad he was because Joyce was not feeling well that Sunday morning and he practically dragged her to church because of the dance for her.

The video link is below.  You will see Joyce on the house right side dancing with her hands right along with us.  May we always "bear one another's burdens" and "edify the church", "giving to one another as they have need."

Please keep Milo and Joyce in prayer.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2QA9AtPnGM

Dancing From The Heart

I am often overwhelmed by the dancer I once was and now am not. I don't want to cling to the dancer I used to be or continue to live in the past. I deeply miss a lifestyle of dancing. At the same time, I want to be who I am at this stage in my life and truly embrace it. Much flexibility and technique is gone. I want to be able to accept that I am a 35 year-old mom who once was a great dancer and still is...only in a different perspective. Where flexibility and technique fail, my heart dances deeper.

Great Choreography

The incredible variety of movement within the

human body. We are fearfully and wonderfully

made by an artistic Creator.

My favorite pieces of choreography.

(This post will be occasionally updated.)

"Sweet Dreams" choreography by Mandy Moore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQC5tvcJILs

"Our Favorite Son" from Will Rogers Follies,

choreographed by Tommy Tune. I learned this

dance when I performed this show for Fullerton

Civic Light Opera in 2001. What a blast!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9-1XutZfPY

Cyd Charisse & Gene Kelly in "Singing In The Rain"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YWBOfsXsDA

These girls are deaf...and totally stunning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPB87oq7RzQ

7 Brides for 7 Brothers, Barn Dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjsjsudv49o

Of course I have to include the Treadmill Dance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaRfxjcpYvM

Michael Jackson, 1995 MTV VMAs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7h3RyCjjak

Katie & Josh in "No Air". Choreography by Tabitha & Napolean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGG_w6vFApM

Koop Island Blues

My latest favorite bit of choreography...again Mia Michaels shows her genius.

I think the piece should be renamed "Derriere".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zCBIBRSEn0

"A Prayer"

Danced by Kathy Villalobos, Jolai Parris, and Kori Peterson.  Song: Small Enough by Nichole Nordeman.  The prayer of an abused child.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dVrHPwPnj4

Hiding Place by Ballet Magnificat

The beautiful story of Corrie Ten Boom, her time in a Nazi concen-

tration camp, and the incredible forgiveness she was able to extend toward the guard who killed her sister.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh7MjnAHgPw

Check out http://www.balletmagnificat.com/H_tour2009.html to see if Ballet Magnificat may be on tour in your area.  It is not to be missed!

Hand in Hand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnLVRQCjh8c

Enjoy...we are fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving creator. No hindrances.