Mourning to Dancing: Is it good to desire greatness?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Is it good to desire greatness?

Beth Moore asked me this morning, "Is it a good thing or a bad thing to have a desire for greatness within us?"

Ok, so she wasn't verbally asking me, but it was in my morning devotion...written by her.

The question stunned me.

Greatness.

It's good, right?

No, it must be bad because greatness brings pride, doesn't it?

Darn! I don't know.

With a passionate personality and "stage presence" like I have, I have grown used to attention being drawn my way. I have always figured it was the God-given personality I have embraced. Writing, dancing, motherhood, politics, scripture. I never thought maybe I was totally motivated by pride. Granted, there are plenty of moments (weeks at times) of pride, self-righteousness, and pharisaical attitudes that I am so thankful God brings to my attention. But is my sole motivating factor self? Yuck! It is certainly possible. God knows my heart and so here I am wondering why I do what I do.

I may say that my heart's intent is to do what I can to secure a free future for my children, to make the truth known, to save the unborn, to be concerned with the eternal salvation of mankind. But is it really? I am not saying it is and I'm not saying it isn't, but I do want God to search me and know my heart, try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps. 139:23-24)

I certainly don't embrace or approve of passivity or ignorance. What's a passionate girl to do!?

God, help me to get over myself.

"Jesus...did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. He humbled Himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross." (Php. 2:8-9)

Humility. Service. Passion. Action for the sole motive of righteousness, salvation, and bringing pleasure to God. Not caring who gets the credit.

Oh please God, let this be me.

"There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go if he doesn't mind who gets the credit." ~Ronald Reagan

I want to be a world-changer. Is that ok?
Why do I want this? So that truth and righteousness will reign, not deceit. Not so I can say, "Hey! Over here! World-changer here!" Do I care if anyone ever knows how much I do or what efforts I make? I can say no, but I can also look at the not-so-distant past when I was not only grossly under-appreciated for something I'd done, but wrongly accused of causing harm. I did not handle it well. It was not pretty. Suddenly I wanted to demand recognition and appreciation. And so my true colors show. Yuck!

So, I guess I don't know yet. How will I perform the next time the pressure comes? Oh please, Lord, let me pass this test.

Father,
This is a struggle for me to grasp today, and to figure out how to balance. What is my true motivation? Is it to be great? Is it to exalt myself or my ideas? I see these as possibilities. I hope not. Change me! Or is it truly for men's salvation, and a future for my children and nation as I so often claim? I must meditate on this today and see if I am standing in the right place, in Your will. Please show me. I need to know what in me requires change or even purging. Help me today, Lord.

(The devotion is Jesus: 90 Days With The One And Only by Beth Moore.)

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Insights from Brandon

"My brother is crazy because he drinks a lot of fruit juice." (7-5-10)

A phone call.

Dad: "Hey Brandon, do you miss me?"

Brandon: "Actually, Dad, I've been having such a good time, I haven't really thought about you."

While watching the Perseid Meteor Shower, Daddy put away the telescope. B says: "Well, we'll have to depend on our eyes now." (8-12-10)

Was watching AFV with B. I said, "I've never seen a cat do that." B looked at me and stated very matter-of-fact: "Well, now you have." (8/22/10)

B: "Mom, Si said he was mad at you and daddy because he couldn't go miniature golfing. I told him he should be mad at satan because satan made him be bad." Me: "Brandon, you know satan doesn't make us do anything. We all make our own decisions." B: "Oh! Thank you, Mom. I guess I don't know everything." (9/11/10)

"I can only find my sandals. If Jesus can wear 'em, I can wear 'em!" (11/15/10)

B: "Mom, instead of just buying milk at the store..."

Me: "...we should just get a cow?"

B: "Yes! Cows are my favorite animal."

Me: "Do you like cows because they make milk?"

B: "Yes! Milk is my favorite drink."

Me: "Yes, well, where would we keep it?" (1/12/11)

J: "Does anyone know what 'reproach' means?"

B: "Well, I think I sort of know. It's like when you first approach somebody and then you reproach them later." (1/17/11)

"I love me! I love myself! I'm a genius!" ...upon great success playing his math game. Don't worry, I reminded him of the Proverb: Let another man praise you and not your own lips. And then I praised him and told him he's a genius. (2/18/11)

"Mom! I didn't know I could have so much fun in one day!" Excitedly pronounced as we exited Circus Circus. (3/18/11)

B: "Mom, Si's having an otter pop. Can I have one?"

Me: "Yes."

B: "But, you said we couldn't have dessert."

Me: "Well, Daddy said yes."

B: "Oh! It doesn't matter what you say, Mom; it matters what Dad says!" (8/27/11)

B: "There's 2 reasons why I was in the bathroom for so long. I was going poo...that's number one..." Mommy: "Don't you mean that's number 2?" (2/15/12)

Me: "Brandon, I'm teaching Sunday School tomorrow and I need you to help me collect some Legos for a game we're playing."

B: "Wow, Mom! Thanks for telling me. I'm a Lego genius!"

Me: "Your brother likes being dirty."

B: "Yeah. Dirty's his favorite thing. I think he likes it more than his favorite color." (2/18/13)

At a memorial for our friend, Sharon Bergman:

Dutch (Sharon's husband) to B: "I'm really glad you guys came today. It really means a lot."

B: "Well, I really didn't have a choice." (6/1/13)

"One thing's for sure: I never get tired of going to church! (2014)

Silas speaks

"Mommy, Jesus was in my dream and He said, 'You should obey your mom and dad everyday.'" (4-5-10)

I got the ice cream out of the freezer and set it on the stove to dish some up for the boys and Silas says, "Don't warm it up, Mom! Then it won't be ice cream, it will just be cream." (6/4/10)

Silas: "Dad, why is the earth made of dirt?'

Daddy: "That's a strange question coming from a kid that should be asleep."

Silas: "But it's a good one." (6/6/10)

"I picked up Daddy's rubber band (the theraband Jamie is using for p.t. on his arm) and I looked around and no one was looking, but I knew God was looking so I put it back." (6/7/10)

We were having lunch at Calico's (a restaurant) and Silas says to the owner, "Brandon is sad because he likes the Fudge Factory better." (7/22/10)

B: "Grammy we got Twinkies at the Bottle Shop for an after-lunch treat."

Si: "Yeah, We had zucchinis...I mean, whatever-they're-called." (8/21/10)

B: "Mommy, I want to sleep with you."

Mommy: "That's nice, but you need to sleep in your own bed."

Si: "I want to sleep on the crouton." (He meant the futon in our room.) (8/22/10)

Me: "Si, what was your favorite part of Sunday School today." Si: "Saying my memory verse." Me: "Really? What was it?" Si: "I don't remember." (9/12/10)

I'm going through Madeline for our Five-In-A-Row lesson, and I asked the boys what tower is in Paris. Si shouts, "The Tower of Terror!" I guess the ride at Disneyland made an impression. (9/27/10)

Si & I were at the Miramar Air Show when a man sitting in front of us fell unconscious. By all observations, he was dead. So, I prayed and helped how I could. After a while, we walked away and I tried to explain to Si what had happened. I asked him if he'd like to pray for the man and his wife and he did. His prayer was beautiful and perfect. After praying, he said to me, "Mommy, when I was praying I thought my eyes were going to cry." I told him that those are the best prayers. (10/1/10)

We were talking about the Lamb's Book of Life during breakfast, and Si says, "Mom, I think we should pray right now that our names are in the Book." "Okay, honey," I said, "go ahead and we will all pray." About 3 minutes later, I continued to read the Bible story and I saw Si, head bowed, hands clasped. "Siley, are you praying again?" "Yes, mommy. I really want my name in that book." (11/30/10)

Watching the Charger game.

"The reason why they call him 'Rivers' is because his shirt is blue." (12/16/10)

Spoken as dramatically as you can comprehend: "I am the golden child!" (12/20/10)

Daddy: "Are you excited to see your great-grandmother tomorrow?"

Si: "I don't even know who she is."

Daddy: "She is Baba's mom."

Si: "I didn't know moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas have moms and dads."

Daddy: "Baba and Dadu are my mom and dad."

Si: "How do you know?"

Jamie went into a lengthy answer about living with them while he was young, etc., then Silas asked, "Well then, why did you leave them?" (12/21/10)

After writing the letter 'q'. "Wow! That's a great whatever-that-letter-is!" (1/17/11)

"I burped three times. Excuse me... Thrice!" (5/28/11)

Me: "Boys, who is your favorite hero and why?"

Si: "God. Because anytime He wants He can turn me into a chicken." (1/12/12)

Me: "Real life is way better than school." Si: "I'll tell you what's better than school...learning about heaven!" (2/6/12)

Grammy: "Si, wouldn't you want a million dollars?" Si: "No, because it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (7/15/14)

Si: "Mom, you know how Obamacare only really works for people who are old?" Me: "Yeah." Si: "Well, if I become a famous ball player, I can take care of you. It'll be Silas-care!" (10/21/14)

"I'm just a big blob of tissue right now. Standing here, talking, walking around, looking like a person. I'm just a big blob of tissue." (5/15/15)

Ganging up together...

B: "Silas, you know, when you drop one of my favorite things, your brain tells your bones to do it." To which Si responds: "Maybe that's it! My brain's being mean to me!!" (9/1/10)

B: "Hey! You killed me! Why'd you do that?"

Si: "Well, you ran in front of my gun...what do you expect?" (4/23/11)

The boys are coloring.

me: "Who is that?"

B: "Abraham Lincoln."

me: "What's he doing?

B: "Reading."

Me: "He's reading by the firelight. Everything he ever learned, he taught himself."

Si: "So did Yoda." (2-12-12 Happy Birthday, Abe.)

Si: "Mom, you know why I like being the youngest? It's like Jacob and Esau...'the oldest shall serve the youngest.'"

B: Laughing, "Yeah, this morning he asked if I would sell my birthright." (9-17-12)

Great Quotes

"Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm." ~Abraham Lincoln

"In contemplating the political institutions of the United States, [if we remove the Bible from schools] I lament that we waste so much time and money in punishing crimes and take so little pains to prevent them." ~Dr. Benjamin Rush, The Father of the Public Schools under the Constitution

"Those who have known freedom and lost it have never known it again." ~Ronald Reagan

"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." ~Mark Twain

"Act as though it's all up to you; Pray as though it's all up to Him." ~Glenn Beck

"God uses each of us within the limitations of our personalities. ...it is Him in me that will reach the world." ~Sally Clarkson

"If I had a choice, I would still choose to remain blind...for when I die, the first face I will ever see will be the face of my blessed Savior." ~Fanny Crosby (author of more than 8000 hymns)

"Cat food tastes so bad cats deserve it." ~Hank the Cowdog

Mourning to Dancing

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Is it good to desire greatness?

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