Saturday, August 28, 2010

beauty from ashes, part 4

To read this story in it's entirety, please click on the "beauty from ashes: my life" tab above.
Please pray for me as I realize I have flung the door wide open for criticism and controversy.  I feel some safety since I know most of you reading this know me personally and love me, failures and all.  Thank you so much for that.  I am on the front lines in a dangerous battle over life and death.  Let's be sure that satan (he doesn't deserve the capital 's') doesn't like what I'm bringing out here, so I am a target.  "When we make a stand, we become a target." (~Sally Clarkson )  He is a great destroyer...that is his mission.  "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy." (John 10:10a)  But, his time is short.
Please pray that when I am attacked, I will respond with grace, love, and truth.  Pray that people who don't see the unborn as living babies will have their blindness lifted and see the truth.  Abortion stops a beating heart.  Pray this will be equally about hurting women and the loss of millions of innocent lives. 1 abortion = 1 dead + 1 wounded.  Pray that men and women will see themselves as the protectors and nurturers they are created to be.  And that they will realize how absolutely satisfying those roles are; and boldly, confidently step up to be the heroes they are meant to be.  We are a culture, a generation of people who expect life to be easy and don't want any hardships.  We shirk our responsibilities and dump them on others because we "can't handle" what has been dealt us.  In our weakness, HE IS STRONG. (2 Cor. 12:9)  Tap into His power when life overwhelms you.  He will see you through and bring you out a glorious and majestic butterfly...soaring in beauty and peace.  What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

(To read the beginning of this story, go here.)

I wish I could say I let my boyfriend walk out of my life, I healed, and life was dandy, but that isn't the reality of what happened.  Remember, I was absolutely wrapped up in him and, to his defense, I was expecting far too much from him.  I had altogether placed my life in him.  He told me I wasn't the bubbly, positive person I once was.  And that I had become too needy (Gee, I wonder why).  He didn't like that I was a dancer and had no financially-thriving future ahead of me, and I imagine the list goes on and on.
In the living room of his parents' house, he dumped me.  He was about to leave for work.  I crumbled to the floor, desperately gripped the hem of his pant leg and begged him with everything I had not to leave me.  I was totally pathetic, pitiful, and heartbroken.  A complete basket-case.  And he walked out the door.  I ran after him.  He got in his car. I got in mine....crying, screaming, frantically chasing him down the road.  I don't know how far I went or how long I followed him but I ended up at my mom's place of work and burst in the door, hysterically crying to see her.  I went to a private room and told her my boyfriend broke up with me and that there was more...

She already knew.

I sobbed and sobbed inconsolably...for weeks.  I became a drain on my mom and I was utterly wretched.  I worked, went to school, but I don't remember any of it.  I only remember that I hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning and my tears never ran dry.
I was close to my boyfriend's best friend.  He told me that the reason he wanted the abortion was so I wouldn't go after him for child support.  Like that even crossed my mind...especially since he had asked me to marry him multiple times.  But, a man of his word only has to ask once...and mean it.
Yet, still, I wanted to be with him.  I concluded that if he didn't want me, no one would, and so I kept trying.  I gave him a gift and he coldly returned it, leaving it on my car.  I was so angry, I went to his house late at night and hurled the gift at his front door...screaming at him.  What a complete wreck I was.

I had one friend that I had told.  I called her, but she wasn't home.  Her mom answered.  I cried hysterically and her mom, Renee, asked me, "Are you ok?"  "No!" I cried, "my boyfriend broke up with me..."  "Oh, I'm so sorry," she said.  I blurted out, "And I had an abortion!"  More tears.  The other line was silent and all I heard was, "Whoa."  --Renee is the wife of a pastor and one of the most fantastic Christian women I have ever met.  Praise God she was on the other end of the phone that night.  I lay in my sister's bed talking to her.  She said, "I am going to pray for you."  And she began to pray.  I have no recollection of what she said, but I was overwhelmed as if immersed in an ocean of peace.  In my heart, I suddenly knew that everything was going to be alright.  ...That I was going to be alright.  I can't explain the feeling except to those of you who have experienced it yourselves.  You are in the midst of the craziest hurricane/tornado of a storm of your life, things hurl past you, yet you are calm, peaceful, if a bubble has been put around you and nothing can harm or even touch you.  "Amen."  The word meaning, "so be it" anchored deep in my soul.  "So," I said, "what do I do now?"  "Do you have a Bible?"  "No," I said, "but my sister does."  I still remember leather, silver on the side, large and heavy.  Renee said, "Read the Psalms."  I got off the phone, and I began reading the Psalms.  But, I didn't just read, I wrote down nearly every one, I cross-referenced...without even really knowing what that was.  "Really?!  Does the Bible really come alive like this," I thought.  I couldn't believe how the words spoke directly to me and my circumstances.
You have filled my heart with greater joy. (Ps. 4:7)
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. (Ps. 4:7)
Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.  Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to You I pray.  In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my request before You and wait in expectation. (Ps. 5:1-3) 
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.  My soul is in anguish.  How long, O Lord, how long?  Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of Your unfailing love.  I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears...  The Lord has heard my weeping.  The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer. (Ps. 6)
O Lord, I have done this and there is guilt on my hands--I have done evil to him who is at peace with me... (Ps. 7:3-4)
The victim commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless. (Ps. 10:14) 
As if that were all.  But, no, the Psalms were my greatest comfort.  A link to reality and peace and hope.

For my birthday, which was only days after this phone call, a friend gave me a sweet, pink Bible.

Oh, how I wish you could see my beloved Bible!  Entire sections fall out, some pages are so dearly loved, that I can't even turn them because they have become so fragile.  I have highlighted and written in margin after margin and any blank space I could find.  God's Word is a deep and vast treasure to my soul.  How I LOVE His Word!!  How often I take it for granted.  But, I truly, truly adore His love letter written to me for my redemption, salvation, and healing.  To this day, every time I am at a Bible study, and the leader asks, "What are some names of God?"  My response always is and will forever be: "HEALER!"  He is my blessed Healer, more dear to my heart than any person or thing or all of creation.  How very thankful and indebted I am!

I digress a bit to just share my emotional state at this very moment of writing.  The rejection of my boyfriend was possibly more emotionally devastating to me than the abortion, initially.  I have so much pain when I tell this part of my story, and I can not, to this day, share it without crying.  So, as I write, I go there all over again.  But, I have to tell you, that picking up that old, worn, pink Bible and reading the circled, underlined, and highlighted passages delivers me from that pain instantaneously.  Because the love of God is far greater than any pain dealt to us in this life.  He is a good, holy, jealous God.  Jealous for me and jealous for you.  He loves you so much and is your all in all.  Hurl yourself into His arms.  Cling to Him.  He will never let go of you.  Thank You, Father.  Thank You, Jesus, for delivering me from the pit of hell, even my own hell.  He came "that we may have life, and that we may have it more abundantly." (Jn. 10:10b)

Ok, so three days after this phone call, I called Renee again and said, "I've finished the Psalms, now what do I do?"  I think she was a little shocked.  I actually walked from class to class at Grossmont College reading my Bible.  There was a guy in my French class that would lovingly tease me about it.  But I was enraptured with God's word.  It became my life.
Renee told me to read through Proverbs.  When I finished that, she led me through a Bible Study called "The Woman God Wants."  Wow!  Was that an eye-opener!  Haha!  For someone who is strong-willed, independent, and sassy, I had a lot to learn about my role as a woman.   But, it is such a beautifully fulfilling role.  And so easy to melt into...if we only have a heart to obey His Word.  And obedience brings peace.

There was still a major problem, though.  The guilt of my abortion remained a hindrance to me and I would have meltdowns often.  One night, while having one of these meltdowns, I found myself on Renee's door step desperately needing comfort.  She is so wise...  I will tell you next where she sent me.

To be continued...

Click here for part 5.

beauty from ashes, part 3

To read this story in it's entirety, please click on the "beauty from ashes: my life" tab above.

(To read the beginning of this story, please click here.)
The day came for my check-up appointment.  It was scheduled 2 weeks after the abortion.  I went to the same Planned Parenthood office that I had originally been taken to.

I sat in the waiting room with my boyfriend wondering if I knew anyone there or if anyone recognized me.  A door opened and my name was called.

I went back and was shown to a room where I disrobed and sat on an examination table.  On the wall to my left was an ugly picture of a naked woman with her legs sprawled.  Nice.
After a while, a woman...not looking much more welcoming than that picture invaded the room.  She was rude, unfriendly, and cold.  "So, are you still bleeding?" she barked out.  "Yes, but not in the mornings so much.  It seems to come heavier later in the day," I said calmly.  She responded flatly, "I asked if you were bleeding."  Clearly she wasn't interested in my emotional state.  Again, I said with more irritation this time, "Not in the mornings, but I do later in the day."  She examined me and left and I really don't remember much more about the appointment except the strong impression that Planned Parenthood, and perhaps the entire abortion industry, is as sweet as pie to you before the abortion, but the second it's over, you are a bother, a burden, and something they must quickly get rid of.  Just pay your money, sneak out the back door, and go away...seems to be their attitude.  My initial "counseling" and pre-abortion visit was kind and accommodating, but, literally, the moment the abortion was over, I was abandoned.  No one to even help me walk to the bathroom...or to, at least, point me in the right direction.

Watch the "Blood Money" documentary trailer below.  It is absolutely true.  

My boyfriend drove me back to his house and broke up with me.  

Pray for the USA, week of August 29

Act as though it's all up to you; Pray as though it's all up to Him.

Pray diligently about the following:

Parental Rights “don’t exist beyond the threshold of the school door.”  (via

In 2005, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals found in Fields v. Palmdale School District that the right of parents to direct the upbringing of their children “does not exist beyond the threshold of the school door.”

While the Parental Rights Amendment won’t give parents any greater power over the curriculum of public schools, it will protect their right to pull their child out of any program that is offensive, immoral, or disagreeable.
  • Spread the word.  Tell everyone you know to sign the Parental Rights petition
  • Contact your and any Representative (after all this affects each of us) and urge them to co-sponsor the Parental Rights Amendment (H.J. Res. 42).   If he/she has already agreed to co-sponsor, thank them.  The list of co-sponsors can be found here. 
    • In Borrego, contact Congressman Duncan Hunter at (202) 225-5672.  (Congressman Hunter has already agreed to co-sponsor.)  
  • Call your 2 Senators and urge them to vote against the UNCRC, and to co-sponsor SR519.  

Obama wastefully spends $6 million of our tax money to restore mosques all over the world…among other things.  (via American Family Association)

If you'd like to see the list, here it is: bunch of useless stuff to Americans (I made that title up myself)
  • Tell your congressman to condemn more wasteful spending.  

Upcoming Election is only 2 months away.  

Absentee ballots will be available on October 4th and early voting is October 18th.
  • Make sure you register to vote.  Pick up a form at the post office or the Library.  Or register online: google "registrar of voters" and your county, then register on line.  You must vote.  The future of this nation is in your hands.
  • Research candidates or take advantage of a resource that has done the research.  (Hint, hint: There’s an easy link right here.  I will update it soon.)

*To find your congressmen, go to .  Once you find your congressman, click on their website and there should be a contact tab on the home page.

Restoring Honor it NOW!!!

Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor event begins at 10am eastern today.  Click on the link above to watch it online.  Then click on the "ustream" tab.

History can be made today!

If you missed the rally, you can see video of it here:

Also, an interesting article can be found here.  I love Glenn, but there is a danger here of linking Mormonism with Christianity.  They are not the same.  Though Mormons are kind people, they are terribly deceived and are a cult.  I do think that returning to God is the key, as well, but let's be careful to seek the TRUTH.

My personal reflection of the 8.28 Event is that it was a great gathering of a moral and civil community of patriots.  I feel like there was a lot of political was genuine but great efforts were made in this area.  Also, my opinion is that there was an overdone attempt to recognize MLK because of the date the event fell on.  I feel like he definitely should be recognized but it seemed a little over the top.
A great gathering overall.  We can see that people are fed up with the status quo and patriots of all ages and walks of life are ready to see a change of direction in this beautiful nation.  So, what are you doing to change it?  Share in the comment area.  I would love to hear your ideas.  xo!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

beauty from ashes, part 2

To read this story in it's entirety, please click on the "beauty from ashes: my life" tab above.
(I wonder how many parts this story will take.  My time now is short but I will add what I can.)

Please forgive me for my outburst of indignation in this post.  I feel at liberty to express it, since I have first-hand experience in this controversial area.

(For part 1 of this story, please click here.)

Somehow, I ended up in the "room" where the "procedure" was to be done to remove the "tissue."  Amazing how changing the names of things doesn't change the reality of what's going on.  "Removing tissue" = killing an innocent life.  Yeah, "removing tissue" sounds nicer.  A nurse (or this part is a blur) asked me if I wouldn't mind letting someone go ahead of me.  "Sure," after all I was being compliant.  It seemed hours I waited there...alone with my thoughts, hospital gown clad, on a cold table...and, maybe even the thought of getting up and walking out.  Though, I have said many times that I could have gotten up and walked away, I am not sure that thought actually went through my mind at that moment.  I just felt a secret world that only my boyfriend knew about...and a few of his friends (apparently he wasn't afraid of embarrassing me).  I couldn't tell any of mine.

Finally, the moment came.  Three people were in the room.  The "doctor" was a petite woman with short, blonde hair and I can't help thinking she was  a lesbian by all appearances...sorry, if that comment offends, but if I'm being wholly candid in recalling my experience, that is part of it.  Everyone was kind and pleasant as if this were no big deal.  I don't know who the 2nd woman was and I am not sure we even spoke but a 3rd woman stood near my head and her job clearly was to distract me.  So, there we chatted about dancing while a life was being sucked into a vacuum.  It was painful and loud and stupid.  I did this for a guy?  ....who did not love me forever, or ever feel remorse (as far as I know...and I have had recent correspondence with him), or even recognize that it was a "baby."   A defense mechanism?  Denial?  Maybe.  I told him once several weeks later that I had a problem with killing our baby.  His response?  "To me, it wasn't a baby."  I don't think I have ever wanted to flatten someone like I did him at that moment.  All the pain, sacrifice, purity, peace, innocence I had given up and he wouldn't even recognize the truth!  Sick.  Yet, it is a picture of our culture.  Denying the obvious so we can worship at the altar of sex with no consequences.  News flash!  There are consequences...even if Planned Parenthood and a plethora of other people with their hands in the pockets of the abortion industry tell you different.  A life is lost, a dark & shameful secret is kept, and depression is common.  To date, there have been 50 million abortions in America since 1973 and approximately 43% of all women will have at least one abortion in their childbearing years, and 43% of those will have at least one more abortion.  Truly the womb is the most dangerous place in America.  So, we can agree that 2 in 5 women have experienced an abortion.  If it wasn't so shameful, then why isn't everyone just coming out with it?  Why are you so shocked to be hearing this story from me?  You will pass by a dozen women today who have gone through the same thing...and sit next to them in your church pews.  They are afraid, in denial, or ashamed to talk about it because our culture has told us that abortion has no side effects.  So, they deduct that something must be wrong with them if they have emotional trauma over a "common procedure" that occurs thousands of times a day around the world.
We are women.  We are life-givers.  We are created to be mothers...nurturers, lovers, cuddlers, encouragers, inspiring to our children.  It is absolutely against our feminine nature to tear a baby from our bodies.

Soon after the "procedure," I was alone...and "alone" is where I remained for several months.  Thank God it wasn't for several years like most women.  God has been gracious to me.  I waited in that room for a while.  Someone gave me a maxi pad (I wasn't sure where I was supposed to put it since all I had on was a gown...sorry to be so graphic here) and told me where the recovery room was.   No, no one walked me to the recovery room.  No one cared.  Once my baby was gone and they had their money, they didn't give me a second thought.  I was crampy, light-headed and dizzy.  I stumbled my way to the recovery room where at least half a dozen or so cots were lined up.  As many as they could fit in that cramped room and I curled up on one of them.  All I wanted was to be out of there, but I didn't feel well enough to be up and walking yet.  I did make my way to a bath room at some point, but as soon as I could I was dressed and waiting for my boyfriend to take me away from there.

The way I left the clinic was not the way I came in.  A secret back-door entrance where they handed me a brown paper bag...I can only imagine it contained birth control pills or something.  I never looked in the bag.  I threw it in the trash.
My boyfriend came in and said, "You look good."  As if surprised at my appearance.

How did I feel?


I must have been really attractive to my boyfriend because he called girls on his phone in his truck and told me to be quiet, he preferred his cat over me, and when my 2-week check-up appointment came, he wanted to go snow skiing.  "Please!" I begged, sobbing hysterically, desperate for him not to leave me, "I can't do this alone.  I need you!"  I pleaded and clung to him.  He did take me, ...grudgingly and bitterly.

To be continued...

Click here for part 3.

Monday, August 23, 2010

beauty from ashes, part 1

To read this story in it's entirety, please click on the "beauty from ashes: my abortion story" tab above.
I was a "good girl" all through high school.  I didn't party, smoke, drink, or hang out with people who did.  I was actively involved in Christian clubs and youth groups, a cheerleader, and an all-around positive and peppy person.  I went to church every Sunday but I never really knew the Lord or went deep in my relationship with Him.  I was a "good person" and felt like that's what I needed to do to be a "good Christian."  I never prayed unless I really wanted something and I never read the Bible except a few key verses like Jeremiah 29:11, John 3:16 and others that everyone knows.  When I did try to read, I didn't understand what I was reading so I just skipped that part of my life as a Christian.

I always dreamed I'd find my "Prince Charming" and live happily ever after.  All sorts of frogs came and I kissed them all and none of them turned into a prince.  My heart was broken time and time again.

There was one guy who had asked me out numerous times.  I knew he was a "player" and slept around with a lot of girls.  I refused him every time except once.  We started to date and I tried to keep him at arm's distance until my will power was no longer enough and I stumbled into an impure relationship with him.  He held my heart and I fell wholly into my imagined life with him.  He was my friend, I thought.  I even had considered him a good friend.  
When I found out I was pregnant, I clung to him.  I was afraid and trusted him fully.  At first, I denied I was pregnant and he insisted on a test.  When it proved to be positive, I went numb...shocked and unfeeling, yet convicted that I must give life to this baby.  My reputation as a Christian was on the line and I was embarrassed about what people might think of me.  So I hid.  I hid in my make-believe world with this guy.  I made him my everything.  One problem:  he didn't want to be my everything.  He asked me what I wanted to do and I said I couldn't have an abortion and the discussion was put on hold.  How he convinced me, I will never know, except that I felt like I had nothing but him and found myself in a place where I only wanted to do whatever he wanted me to do.  So, I agreed to an abortion.  

And he made all the arrangements.

He took me to Planned Parenthood where I took another pregnancy test and the result was the same.  A woman named Tobi was helping me.  All I could say was, "My sister's name is Tobi."  She was kind, blonde like my sister.  She told me my options but I knew what I had come for and she said I was too early in my pregnancy to have an abortion and had to wait two weeks.  Two weeks = an eternity.  I spent those two weeks at my boyfriend's house, hiding.  I only left to go to school and work.  Then, I returned to him.  I was a zombie.  No emotion, no response, no nothing.  Lethargically and pathetically putting one foot in front of the other every second of the day until that day was over, and then I'd do it again the next.  I was in dance class and couldn't balance on my two feet.  I had an audition and was off.  My life was out-of-balance and off, and spiraling to one deadly encounter that would occur in a clinic for a "routine" procedure that "women do on their lunch breaks every day."  Yes, that is what Planned Parenthood told me.

I held my hands on my belly one night and began to ponder the life being created within me.  Peace and excitement flooded over me, and I knew that if I had this child, everything would be alright.  No matter what happened.  I thought for sure my boyfriend would share in the excitement.  After all, he had asked me to marry him (in total, he asked me three times).  So, I called him and told him that everything would be fine and we could have this baby.  From my elation, he jerked me back to reality and I plunged, collapsing into a disastrous heap.  We would not have this baby.  He was decided and I wanted to please him.

The day came.  I don't remember where I was or where I was going.  The geographic location remained a mystery to me until several years later when I sought the location for my own emotional and spiritual healing which I will talk about later.  My boyfriend drove me and that is all I knew.  I clung to him.  We had the cheapest procedure possible so I was awake for the whole thing.  I was the first appointment on a Friday morning in February.  We walked into the waiting room, I sat down and I don't remember much except that there was cork board covered in pro-choice bumper stickers and there were 2 or 3 people also in the waiting room.  My appointment was at 8:00 am and the next appointment was at 8:15 am.  In disbelief, I said to my boyfriend, "They do these every 15 minutes?"  "Be quiet," he said.  And so, I remained silent unless someone asked me a question.  I was taken back and given a blood test and taken into an office where I had to sign a release form consisting of two pages and at least 30-40 side effects of the abortion including death.  I was sweet, compliant, and dead...all except for heart beats...mine and my baby's.  But, soon, that would change.

To be continued....

p.s.  I want to mention that, though my boyfriend at the time seems like a monster as I write this, there has been great healing in my life regarding him and I wish him the very best and a fulfilling life in Jesus.  God was doing a work in my life and he was a part of that work.  I will explain more later about what kind of interaction, forgiveness, and healing has occurred since the events written here.

Please share this story if you like or think it can help some one else.

Click here for Part 2.

"I fought for you."

Saturday, August 21, 2010

not without honor

Then He...came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him.  And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue.  And many hearing Him were astonished, saying, "Where did the Man get these things?  And what wisdom is this which is given to Him, that such mighty works are performed by His hands!  Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon?  And are not His sisters here with us?"  They were offended by Him.  But Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house."  So He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them.  And He marveled because of their unbelief.  Then He went about the villages in the circuit teaching. ~Mark 6:1-6

How true this is.

God is doing some great thing in your life, yet many of those closest to you discredit, disbelieve, and even ridicule you.  Your heart is changed.  Your path is firm as you step out on the steady hand of God, suspended in His secure palm, immovable, unshakable...the only thing that causes you to wobble are the winds of criticism from those around you, even Christians, that believe you can't possibly be used for any significant purpose.  To them, the concept is laughable.
"They were offended by Him."
There is no encouragement, only skepticism.  So, you open not your mouth and let them think what they want. And you wonder if conversations will always remain shallow.  You attempt to engage them in a deep thinking conversation, but the effort results in lifeless waning and you wish you had kept to the weather.

" his own house."

You open your home.  The fruits of God, your love are before their own eyes.  Nothing.  It is somewhat amusing ...or maybe you just laugh because otherwise you might have some other unbecoming response.  So, you settle in your heart that things are the way they are.

"So He could do no mighty work there, except..."

...except a few things that must be done for the sake of the one receiving it.  You minister to your husband, your children.  And just rest in God's smile on you.  After all, it's not about the recognition of men (Gal. 1:10)...even if it would be nice for those closest to you to see your real heart.  Oh well.  

"Then He went about..."

Move on.  Follow Him.  Don't dwell on anything but the truth (Php. 4:8).  Deal graciously with hiccups as they come and  carry on.  There is work to be done.  "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." ~Galatians 6:9

God isn't aiming at our mark, He's aiming at His.

Stand fast on your passion and drive for ideals, standards, and non-complacency in making a difference in your world...even when those (however close they may be) who settle for the ways of the world take offense at your convictions.

Pray for the USA, week of August 22

Pray diligently about the following:

Homosexual Agenda in Public Schools is rampant and we must be on our guard especially if you have children or grandchildren in the public school system. (via Citizen Link,

Kevin Jennings, Obama’s “Safe Schools” Czar appointee is the founder of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network ).

  • Look on the school district’s website, go to the library section, punch in key terms in search function (i.e. homosexuality, gay, lesbian, gender identity, sexual orientation, etc.)  Here are some book titles are being given to children.
  • Be conscious the agenda being in the disguise of innocent-sounding names such as: “bully prevention,”  “tolerance lessons,” “diversity,” "non name-calling week," “safe schools week,” etc.  
  • Bookmark  There are some great ideas of how to address this issue in your child’s school in a loving & fact-based way.

Ground Zero Mosque…while the 1st Amendment allows this mosque to be built so long as it is done legally (and no one is sure it is), there is a huge sensitivity issue.  (via American Center for Law & Justice, One News Now)

1.) The intent of the mosque and it’s location is shady as well as 2.)  the Imam’s federally funded (your tax dollars) trip to promote tolerance of Islam in Middle Eastern countries (I thought they were already tolerant of their own religion) and the question is whether or not he will make this a fund-raising/mosque-promoting trip even though he is not supposed to.  3.) Also, the ACLJ has just filed a lawsuit regarding the landmark status of the building currently at the proposed mosque location.

  • Sign the petition to stop the Ground Zero Mosque at
  • Stay informed.  There are many unanswered questions that we need to know the truth about.

Parental Rights Amendment/U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child.  These two are the antithesis of each other.  The Parental Rights Amendment would grant parents the right to raise their own children as
they see fit without government or international law being able to infringe upon that right. The CRC would give the U.N. the authority to intervene in the raising of your children.

UPDATE: The U.N. recently held a conference in Mexico where they promoted “universal access for reproductive health” in honor of The International Year for Youth.  See one the shocking brochures they handed out.  Just another incredulous attack on the family by the U.N. (via

  • Spread the word.  Tell everyone you know to sign the Parental Rights petition
  • Contact your and any Representative (after all this affects each of us) and urge them to co-sponsor the Parental Rights Amendment (H.J. Res. 42).   If he/she has already agreed to co-sponsor, thank them.  The list of co-sponsors can be found here.
    • In Borrego, contact Congressman Duncan Hunter at (202) 225-5672.  (Congressman Hunter has already agreed to co-sponsor.)
  • Call your 2 Senators and urge them to vote against the UNCRC, and to co-sponsor SR519.  
    • In California, call: Barbara Boxer – (202) 224-3553, fax: (202) 228-3865; & Dianne Feinstein - (202) 224-3841, fax: (202) 228-3954

Proposition 8 is a majority-voted amendment to the California Constitution that defines marriage as between one man and one woman.  (via, - Judge Vaughn Walker op-ed)

Prop 8 was overturned by a left activist, gay judge.  It is now on it’s way to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals and then to the Supreme Court.
An indefinite hold on new same-sex marriages in California is in effect as Prop 8 makes it’s way through the appeal process.

  • Show love to homosexuals.  They are dealing with sin…like all of us.
  • Keep your own marriage healthy and strong, and within God’s design.

*To find your congressmen, go to  Once you find your congressman, click on their website and there should be a contact tab on the home page.

“Act as if it’s all up to you; Pray as if it’s all up to Him.”

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Welcome home, heroes!

Thank you for risking your lives to ensure my freedoms.

President Bush & Laura made a surprise visit to welcome some of our troops returning home from their deployment.

Yes, I cried.

If you would like to welcome heroes home and are in the Dallas area, call 972-574-0392 for arrival information.

Doesn't this just put a smile on your face?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Message, Genesis 1-9

"Do not even touch it..."

God told Adam and Eve not to eat of the Tree-of-the-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil, but when the serpent asked Eve about the tree, she said, "we can't eat it or even touch it, or we'll die."  I've heard it taught numerous times that Eve added to God's word-- He didn't command them not to touch it.  But as I read this today, I thought maybe Eve was showing some wisdom here and had chosen not to even touch the tree so would not tempt herself.  I don't know, but I did think of that today.  When you're on a diet, you don't walk into a donut shop just to look around or the next thing you know you'll be scarfing one down.  This also reminded me of Psalm 1:1.  Don't WALK in the way of the wicked, STAND in the path of sinners, or SIT in the seat of scoffers.  It is easy to be distracted while you are walking and a distraction can lead to standing and thinking about it until you find yourself sitting in the midst of a bad situation.

Here is an illustration I heard once:  
You walk by a movie theater and the movie posters in the display boxes catch your eye, glancing over you read the poster and take a closer look at the picture, then you decide to buy a ticket and sit in the seat of the movie theater...most probably watching and being influenced by a movie that is not wholesome.  
Things so easily lure us in.  I think perhaps Eve showed some wisdom in keeping her distance from the tree and therefore kept temptation at a distance.  Obviously her will power and self-control was lacking.  And we are all paying dearly for it now.

"God put a mark on Cain..."
After Cain murdered his brother, Abel, the Bible says that God gave Cain a mark so that people wouldn't harm him.  Was it a tattoo?  Change of skin coloring...darker? lighter?

Eugene Peterson describes the pre-flood state of humanity:
"As far as God was concerned, the Earth had become a sewer; there was violence everywhere.  God took one look and saw how bad  it was, everyone corrupt and corrupting---life itself corrupt to the core." 
Sort of sounds like God is describing the world today.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Soaked in the City

I love my boys!!  ALL 3 OF THEM!

Today, I got to do something very fun with the 2 littlest ones.

I needed to do some shopping and since this tends to be an all-day event (it takes at minimum an hour to reach the nearest reasonable grocery store), Jamie suggested I take the boys to Knott's Soak City in Palm Springs.  So I did!

The weather was horrendous today.  Probably pushing 110 and it was 60% humidity when I left the house.  THI-I-ICK!

We had such a fun time and they were sooooo good!  YEA!

Three wet noodles after a day of soaking in the city.

& her noodles :)

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Mosque at Ground God-&-Country Point-of-View

It just doesn't sit well.  

Wicked people brutally attacked this country, my country.  How can we forget and let them raise a victory flag over the very site of the loss of thousands of lives?  IT'S NOT RIGHT.

Also, the White House (meaning your tax dollars) is financing the Imam's global trek to raise money for this now you and I are FORCED to support this incredulous act.

I recently responded to a facebook comment stating that Jesus would not spend energy or money opposing the Ground Zero mosque.  You know I just couldn't let it go.

Jesus overturned the tables in the temple twice (Mt. 21:12-13; Mk. 11:15-19).  He wasn't passive about things not being right in His Father's house.  That was His business.  He didn't get involved in politics or government because it wasn't time for that yet (Lk. 17:20-37).  And the Roman government was never a place of freedom for Him or many.  America, on the other hand, is a place of freedom for us where "We the people" are the government and we must maintain the freedom we have.  "It is for freedom Christ made us free." (Gal. 5:1)  And our Founders used God's law & natural law to establish this great nation.  They essentially extended God's freedom to this new nation.

Ok, back to Jesus and politics/government:
He will be coming (very soon I hope) to set things right and ultimately sit on the throne where He will very much be involved in government (Is. 62:25; Rev. 20).  And I guarantee you He is not going to be too keen on a mosque being ANYWHERE on the earth (Gen. 16, esp. v. 12; Gen. 21:8-21; Jn. 8:24; Jn. 14:6; Acts 4:12; 2 Ptr. 3:9; 1 Tim. 2:5).
I absolutely think that all religions should have equal freedoms in America.  That is the first priority of the Constitution (as long as no harm comes to anyone...and this is a question we should ask.  This mosque at the pursued location harms people affected by 9-11.  Most Americans own the attacks as a personal offense.).  Why must the mosque be built so close to the site?  We must realize that this is not some peaceful sect.  This Imam has stated that we brought the attacks upon ourselves so it isn't reasonable to think he really has everyone's best interests at heart.

Yes, they legally have the right, but a right doesn't mean it's right.

Just build the darn thing somewhere else!  ...and it won't be such a volatile issue.

The ACLJ has a lawsuit in the works.  Please read the article here and add your name to the petition.  Please do something before it's too late. Thank you and bless you.

A couple more interesting links:

(Thanks, Wilson, for the help with the verses.)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Pray for the USA, week of August 15th

Parental Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution would ensure parents the right to bring up and educate their own children as they see fit without the U.S. government or international law being able to infringe upon that right. (via

Congressmen are needed to co-sponsor the Amendment to the Constitution.  So far, 141 are on board.

·         Pray.
·         Spread the word.  Tell everyone you know to sign the Parental Rights petition.  
·         Contact your and any Representative (after all this affects each of us) and urge them to co-sponsor the Parental Rights Amendment (H.J. Res. 42).   If he/she has already agreed to co-sponsor, thank them.  The list of co-sponsors can be found here.
o        In Borrego, contact Congressman Duncan Hunter at (202) 225-5672.  (Congressman Hunter has already agreed to co-sponsor.)

U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child gives the U.N. the authority to intervene if they deem you are not raising your children according to their standards. (via,

This will endanger parents’ rights over the upbringing of their own children and will allow 3rd parties and international law to determine how children are raised.  This effects education, religion, sexual education, discipline, etc.

4 more Senators are needed to co-sponsor SR519 which will kill the CRC (Convention on the Rights of the Child) in the U.N. 

·         Pray.
·         Call your 2 Senators and urge them to vote against the UNCRC, and to co-sponsor SR519. 
o        In California, call:
§         Barbara Boxer – (202) 224-3553, fax: (202) 228-3865
§         Dianne Feinstein - (202) 224-3841, fax: (202) 228-3954

Proposition 8 is a majority-voted amendment to the California Constitution that defines marriage as between one man and one woman. 

Prop 8 was overturned last week by a left activist, gay judge.  It is now on it’s way to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals and then to the Supreme Court. (via, Focus on the Family Aug. 13 episode, Professor Robert - Judge Vaughn Walker op-ed)

The concern is:
1.  the homosexual agenda (to stop, silence, and punish anyone who disagrees with them) ultimately having its way in society.  The dangers include: education, special rights vs. equal rights for homosexuals, loss of rights for those who disagree (i.e. a photographer declined to shoot a same-sex wedding because of her faith and she was taken to court and punished.), the deterioration of God-ordained marriage, the intentional denial of allowing children both a mom and a dad, and the incredulous deception that men and women are not different.
2.  the blatant defiance of activist judges invalidating the will of the majority of the American people. 

·         Pray for judges, homosexuals/activists, our children.
·         Show love to homosexuals.  They are dealing with sin…like all of us.
·         Keep your own marriage healthy and strong, and within God’s design.
*To find your congressmen, go to  Once you find your congressman, click on their website and there should be a contact tab on the home page.    

Keep 'em busy

It's too hot to be outside, so we discovered two fun activities to keep the kids occupied.

  1. Kitchen Timer Hide-n-Seek.  Make sure your kitchen timer ticks.  Hide it somewhere in the house.  It's like a scavenger hunt, but they have to use their ears.  Bonus:  this game gives you a few minutes of quiet. :)
  2. Oatmeal Aggression Cookies.  Throw 3 cups of quick oats, 1 1/2 cups brown sugar, 1 1/2 cups flour, 1 1/2 cups butter, 1 1/2 tsp baking powder into a large bowl.  (I split the ingredients into 2 bowls so each child had one.)  And let 'em at it!  Punch, knead, squish...all with their hands (yes, a good hand-washing before is mandatory).  When your wiggle worms are sufficiently worn out, roll the dough into balls and place on an ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes.
Have fun!

From The Preschooler's Busy Book by T. Kuffner.

Saturday, August 7, 2010



Yeah, that was the right title for this time I have spent with Sally and 50+ of the most wonderful women on the face of the earth.  I have been so overwhelmed, refreshed, encouraged, humbled, convicted, and elated this weekend.  Jamie has texted me more than once and asked, "Are you having a good time?"  Such a difficult question to answer.  Fun isn't really the right word.







...those would more properly describe my time here.

(Lisa Wachs, Sally Clarkson, and I)

Sally, her team, and the fascinating ladies that have learned alongside me in the past 48 hours have brought out the very best and most lovely traits in each of us.  It is so refreshing to be with women who will not judge, are passionate about Biblical motherhood, and share a common burden to change the world through truth and family.

A dream Sally envisioned that ignited her call to this ministry goes as follows:
Sally stood on a street side.  As she gazed across she noticed a tiny baby desperate and alone and abandoned on the steps leading to a judicial building.  The needy infant was naked, sobbing hysterically in its utter helplessness.  Nearby a group of men stood arrayed in darkness as they shot arrow after arrow at the steps taking aim at the child. Laughing.  Each arrow had a word - pornography, abortion, divorce, sexual immorality...  Sally pleaded, "God what do you want me to do?!  Someone has to help that baby!"  And God said, "Stand before the child."  And so she did, and other women joined her and took the arrows aimed at the infant.
I stand on the stairs with her and there I will remain until moms realize what treasures they have that must be kept safe and secure.  Motherhood is the greatest call for you. Will you join us?  Dads, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles?  Our children are in grave danger.  If we don't defend and stand for them, who will?

Can you see that this picture is the exact reality of what is going on with our children?

We must spread the message of true Biblical motherhood and counter the incredible feminist breeding that has perverted and invaded our culture.  We must start in our own homes.  I will raise my children according to God's ways and not the ways of this upside-down world.   What will you choose?  Look at those precious faces and hands and hearts that hold your own heart.  You have a vitally important decision to make.

Please comment if you would like to know if there is a Biblical mom's group near you.  And please read Mission to Motherhood.  It is an absolutely perspective- and life-changing book.  Let's take the first step toward being the families God created us to be.

Monday, August 2, 2010

going higher, no matter the cost

My heart is torn apart right now as I face an intense struggle.  What is the right thing to do?  1 Peter sets everything into perspective.
I leave in 2 days for a possibly life-changing weekend.  An Intensive training for writers and speakers is being held in Colorado and I know the Lord has opened the way for me to go.  What I didn't see coming is the blatant attack of the enemy meant to shake me to my core in his predictably subversive and underhanded way.  I am upset beyond reason, but he will not win.

1 Peter...
2:19~  For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
2:20~ if when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
3:1-6~ with a meek and quiet well and do not be afraid.
3:9~ not rendering evil for evil, but a blessing
3:11~ do good
3:13~ who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? 
 3:16~ Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
3:17-18~ For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. ...the just for the unjust.
4:2~ he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God. 
 4:8~ charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
4:9~ Use hospitality one to another without grudging.
4:12~ Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you.
4:16~ if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
5:5~ be subject to one another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
5:7~ Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you. 
5:10-11~ But the God of all grace, who hath called us into His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.  To Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
 All prayer is to change the human will into submission to the divine will "as Thou wilt"...Pray until prayer makes you forget your own wish, and leave it or merge it in God's will.  ~Frederick W. Robertson
This is so hard.  Pray with me and be in peace.  
"Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:6-7
Father, teach me to pray.  Change me in prayer to be like You.  Give me love, peace, contentment.  Guide me, protect me, do Your will.  I love You!  Bring the rain! ...if it makes me more like You. 

He calls us to a higher plane.  Will you go?  Will you accept the challenge?  I'm going!

Do not pray for easy lives!  Pray to be stronger men.  Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.  Pray for powers equal to your tasks.  Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be a miracle.
~Phillips Brooks

The Five Thousand Year Leap, principles 10-13

(For part 1, click here.)

Principle 10: Sovereignty of the people
I was just writing in my post, "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" about the necessity and power of prayer and the responsibility we as Americans have in making sure our government is what it should be, and then I picked up this chapter in 5000.  I love how God dovetails everything in our lives and confirms or changes a direction we may be heading in.  (See the post here: Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire)
"We the people" seems clear as a bell to me.  Why must we complicate it?  It is the people, you and I, who are the governing force of this country.  "...the right to rule is actually in the people and therefore no person can rightfully rule the people without their consent"...which only leads to the logical conclusion that ruling without the peoples' consent is not right, not good, but wicked and tyrannical.  The way the current administration blatantly defies the will of the people is in direct violation of our Constitution.  Obama, Pelosi, and the like should be fired, impeached.  But we live in such an upside-down culture that many don't know which way is up and we believe the lies that are fed to us by our political leaders and media.  Our naivete will plunge us into bondage.  We must get our heads out of the sand and wake up to what is really going on in our country.  News flash!  Bad people are trying to destroy you and there is a multitude of them with governmental power.  Don't think they won't devastate your life...and the lives of your children.
James Madison said in the Federalist papers, "...the ultimate authority...resides in the people alone."  It's very clear who is supposed to hold the power of this great nation.

Another thing I had to read 5 times just so my little brain could grasp it was this:
"...whoever gets into the exercise of any part of the power by other ways than what the laws of the community have prescribed hath no right to be obeyed...since he is not the person the laws have appointed, and, consequently, not the person the people have consented to." (Locke)
Two things come to mind when I wrap my head around this truth: 1. birth certificate, 2. ACORN.
Is he (I know you know who I'm talking about) really a U.S. citizen?  We can not be certain from his records, or lack thereof.  And did ACORN, in fact, commit voter fraud?  If so, how many false votes were seized by Obama, and therefore, did he truly win the election?  I haven't pursued these two concerns in depth, but it does raise an eyebrow... because if Obama is in power not by legal means, then we have no business obeying or consenting to him.  It sure throws a wrench in the whole "respect the president" he even really our President...legally?  Will we ever truly know?
Yes, I just went there.

Principle 11:  The majority of the people may alter or abolish a government which has become tyrannical

Well, I don't know about you, but that sounds like good news!  And I was starting to think all hope was lost.  Ok, not really...though I do have fleeting moments of despair.
"whenever the legislators endeavor to take away and destroy the property of the people, or to reduce them to slavery..., they (government officials) put themselves into a state of war with the people, who are thereupon absolved from any further obedience..."
Ok, now don't get crazy just yet.  It says the "majority" which we may very well have, but we must engage one another, join together and oust the problem in the most appropriate way.  The government already has a big hold on our money, property (Fannie and Freddie, anyone?), education, healthcare, religion, and our ammo.  Keep your eyes open, folks.  Don't stay in the boiling pot.  Hop out and do something.  Find like-minded patriots and keep them close.  Call your congressional reps.  PRAY!!!!  Vote!
Really, we are well on our way to this very scenario.  As government gets bigger and bigger, the people are getting more and more indignant, and righteously so.  Obama and his cronies are awakening a sleeping giant, be sure of that.  An uprising is coming from the true Americans in this nation.  It is bound to happen.  Mama bear is not happy.  The only thing that would restrain such an event is the rapture of the church at this point.  History shows that Americans time and time again only take so much before they fight to turn things right side up again (American Revolution, Civil War, the communist movement, Civil Rights movement).  We are ripe for justice and truth to be restored.

Principle 12: The United States shall be a Republic (not a democracy)
The word democracy, over the years, has been equated with socialism, a mixed system of socialism and free-enterprise, communism, and even the republic that we are.

Democracy (according to the U.S. Army's 1928 Training Manual):

  • a government of the masses
  • authority derived through mass meetings or any other form of "direct" expression
  • results in mobocracy (a mob is the source of control.) (we are somewhat witnessing this now.  Thank goodness elections are coming up and we can take the opportunity to shift the pendulum)
  • attitude toward property is communistic -- negating property rights
  • attitude toward law is that the will of the majority shall regulate, whether it is based upon deliberation or government by passion, prejudice, and impulse, without restraint or regard to consequences
  • results in demagogism, license, agitation, discontent, anarchy
Republic (as defined by the same manual):
  • authority is derived through the election by the people of public officials best fitted to represent them
  • attitude toward property is respect for laws and individual rights, and a sensible economic procedure (yeah, that has kind of tanked)
  • attitude toward law is the administration of justice in accord with fixed principles and established evidence, with strict regard for consequences
  • a great number of citizens and extent of territory may be brought within its compass
  • avoids the dangerous extreme of either tyranny or mobocracy
  • results in statesmanship, liberty, reason, justice, contentment, and progress.
I think "Republic" still fits us, but the danger is in the lack of educated voting.  People put too much trust in political leaders who are subject to the evils of human nature and many go that direction (see Principle 13 below).  We must think for ourselves and not allow politicians to be the end all of knowledge and wisdom for us.  We are slaves to them if we blindly vote them into office.  Better to not vote at all than to vote and be ignorant of who you are putting into office.  This is incredibly dangerous and has been the mentality of so many for far too long.  I, too, am guilty here.  NO LONGER!  We are reaping the consequences of such mindless actions.  
The word "democracy" was actually designed as an attack on the Constitutional structure of government and the basic rights it was designed to protect.
Do me a favor and don't ever use the word "democracy" to describe the USA again.  We are a Republic..."if you can keep it." (Benjamin Franklin)

Principle 13:  A Constitution should be structured to permanently protect the people from the human frailties of their rulers.

Yes, we are all human and possess the awful ability to be subject to selfishness, greed, control, and vanity.  We must be ever conscious of our humanity.
"Let no more be said of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the Constitution." ~Thomas Jefferson
Obama has stated his disappointment that the Constitution is "a charter of negative liberties."  Yeah, it is!  FOR YOU, DUDE!!!  For the people it is life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  I say chain him tighter with the Constitution because it's apparent his hands have slipped out of the cuffs and the police haven't noticed.  But I have and so have a whole bunch of other people.

The Founders believed that the "greatest danger arises when a leader is so completely trusted that the people feel no anxiety to watch him."  I have a close family member that is an Obama voter.  I asked him recently what he thought of how Obama was running the nation.  His response?  "Oh, I don't know.  I haven't really paid attention."  What?!!  You haven't really paid attention!??!  Have you lost your mind?  This is called trusting people too much and then taking your eyes off of them.  Especially those we like, we must keep an eye on them.  I love President Bush because of his stance on the unborn and his undying (no pun intended) protection of precious babies.  But, eyebrows raise when we find out the war wasn't originally what we thought it was and when we look at his stance on illegals.  Gotta watch these people!
"Wherefore let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.  There hath not temptation taken you but such as is common to man." ~1 Cor. 10:12-13
No one is immune to evil.

Yes, times have changed and society/culture is not what it was in the late 1700's.  I wouldn't be too proud of that fact, by the way.  But the Constitution is not out-dated as Obama and many others would like to claim.  The genius of the Constitution is that "it was designed to control something which has not changed and will not change -- namely, human nature."

So, chain 'em up!  Chain up all those in public office with the Constitution.  After all, they swore to "uphold and defend" it, so it really shouldn't be too much of an inconvenience.