Monday, July 23, 2012

How discontent have I been these last couple of days?  Wickedly discontent.

Good timing for a lesson today about Psalm 90 and the importance of numbering my days and not wasting my life.

Nothing surprises You.  You are sovereign.  (I love the word "sovereign.")

You know the wickedness of our hearts, the secret darkness lurking in thoughts we would never willingly allow to escape.

The heart is deceitfully wicked.  Who can know it?
Answer: You.  You know it.  I try to mask and pretend even around You that I'm not as awful as I am, but then I realize that I'm vainly striving to convince You of anything other than reality.  And it is so much better, so much more freeing to just honestly and humbly confess the depravity of my thoughts and beg You to change me, to cause me to be grateful because in everything You have a great purpose: to cause me to be better and more like You, to help and comfort others who will later walk this same path, and for me to desire heaven more.

Change, comfort, fill me.  You know me so well.  I am so glad.

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