Life is not about me. But I don’t live like that. I live selfishly and vainly. I want a nap. I want my time. I want my will.
I am scatterbrained and unorganized and I don’t often use my time well.
I am tired and I want to do what I want to do.
I want to write. I want to speak about the injustices of planet earth. I want to expose the dangers in America. I want truth. I want to dance. I want to educate my children well. I want to read.
But I’m needed to plan events, to serve, to fulfill my role as this or that.
Today, I felt/feel so unsettled in life. I love my life, but I don’t think I embrace it as I should. I don’t think I enjoy it as I should. I fear that I will look back on it and think it wasn’t a happy life, but instead a life full of people-need-me-to-do-this-and-that. And then I thought, well, George Washington wanted to farm and live cozy at Mount Vernon, but he was hardly able to. Duty called. He obeyed. But there is a rest forever in heaven for him and for all who enter His rest. So what if this life isn’t all about what my ambitions and desires are? Obey and do right.
I don’t often do right, I think. I get consumed with the affairs of this world - with politics, with government. I feel off-balance. I want to turn off Facebook forever. I want someone else to take on the affairs of this world, so I can read and have fun with my kids and keep my house clean and be fluffy and bubbly and fun. But I am compelled by something deeper to speak, to shout, to expose truth.
Gregg Harris has been sharing his message “Seasons of Life.” I ought not to comment on it since I haven’t actually heard it in its entirety. But what I have heard, I often think about. As the church body, we all ought to be using our gifts to serve one another. But many are not serving at all. And those who are are trying to fill every need the church has. Gregg Harris says that our life is about seasons: 1. the disciple/student phase, 2. the raising a family/homemaking phase, 3. the grandparent phase, 4. the pastoral phase, 5. the statesman phase. But it seems that most are reaching the grandparent/retirement years, shirking all responsibility, RV-ing and golfing and leaving the world to be run and solved by those who ought to be focusing on their families. But since they don’t lead in their churches or in government, the Sarah Palins of the world are having to step up and step in. I have been asked 4 times to run for the local school board. I don’t want to. But if no other common sense person will do it, must I? Where are the leaders? Where is duty? If people of sanity don’t fill these roles, this nation will not improve but will only follow its path over the edge.
It is no wonder New Jersey legalized assisted suicide yesterday. We reach retirement age, we check out of life and all that matters, and we wonder why we’re not worth anything at the end of it. It’s no wonder the value of the lives of the elderly is beginning to be looked at as nothing and disposable. But God knows the number of our days. He has a plan and purpose for each one. We ought to live like it.