Dancers, present your bodies a living sacrifice

I am teaching a class tomorrow at Saddleback for their dance ministry and I'm so nervous!!!

Why?  I've danced a zillion times in a zillion venues.  I have danced in worship since I first realized I could, and I prefer dancing to Him far above cruise ships, Disneyland, theater, whatever.

I'm nervous because I want to be sure that I communicate the true heart of worship...and, in all honesty, a wee bit because I know my dancing is not "current" according to the world's standards.  What will they think of me?  I hope they don't think of me, but only of Him.

Dancers are a unique sort:  artistic, diva-ish, emotional, creative, competitive.  Some of us are ruthless and cut-throat.  Some of us want to look out for others and to help.  "Are you having trouble with that part of the routine?  Here, let me help you."  Maybe it is sometimes self-serving.  If I can teach it to someone else then I will know it better myself.  Maybe we empathize with those who have trouble picking up the routine because we ourselves have been in that position before.  It is embarrassing and frustrating.

beautiful Marilyn - technician and worshiper

But dance for worship of God...  Everything we know as dancers goes absolutely against the humility, tenderness, selflessness required to take our eyes off us, and set them wholly on Him.  We've been conditioned to look out for number one.  We really need to be looking up to the ONE.

And lifting up their eyes, they saw no one, save Jesus only. ~Mt. 17:8

I often think of this verse when I dance.  "There are going to be a bunch of eyes on me.  Jesus, I want to look up and see only You.  I want to see You in each face.  I want to dance for You.  I want to love them like You.  Help me love them through my dancing."

The technician and worship:  We must get past our ability/training and focus on our motive.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, to that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. ~1 Cor. 13:1-3

If I may... "Though I dance like a genius, can do fifty fouette turns and fly through the air with my legs wrapped around my head, but have not love, it profits me nothing...in the eternal perspective."  What did Jesus say, "I assure you, he has his reward."  Are we dancing for all the world to see and commend us, or are we dancing for "no one, save Jesus only?"  Are we laying up our treasure in heaven?

Winnie dancing her heart.

I actually had a girl quit my dance ministry once (in a huff) because I "never put her in front."  She was amazing. A sweet, beautiful and talented girl with the most fantastic presence.  She thought that I didn't like her dancing.  What a shame...for both of us.  I clearly should have communicated to her what a stunning dancer she was and not assumed that she already knew.  And she shouldn't have presumed to know what I was thinking.  The relationship, though I have apologized and taken the full blame, was never reconciled.

In the same instance, another dancer told me she was so thankful to dance that she'd "dance in a closet as long as she could do it for Jesus."

That is the heart.

Eureka!

The Gold Rush!  

What another fantastically fascinating time in our American history.  We truly are a people of adventure, courage, and commitment.

We found a handful of great reads:

• Boom Town by Sonia Levitin.  A little girl's determination to learn how to make a pie and how it created a boom town.
• By The Great Horn Spoon by Sid Fleischman.  About a boy and his butler from Boston who go for the gold via the long trek around South America, and the adventures and self-discovery they encounter along the way.
• You Wouldn't Want To Be An American Pioneer by Jacquelyn Morley is great for a humorous look at the dangers, adaptability, and resourcefulness of those who headed west.
• Would You Go For The Gold? by Elaine Landau gives the kids a chance to think about what they may have done during the Gold Rush.

The cherry on top of our study of this era came last Saturday.  The boys, my mom, and I made our way up to Julian with the intent of doing some "gold" panning, however when we sat down for lunch, a brochure on the table invited us to visit Smith Ranch for a train and gold mine tour, so we went for it.  The Ranch is owned by an LDS family.  They were warm and friendly and had their 1 1/2 hour tour down to a science.  The highlight for me was a letter from the wife's great uncle who was a miner.  The tattered paper had been written on front and back horizontally and then turned on it's side and written vertically as well.  Why?  Because postage for the letter cost $5 in a time where a month's salary was approximately $17 and, as mentioned before, being resourceful was at the forefront of these folk's mind.   

It was an outstanding time!  We even donned hardhats to venture into a damp, cool mine which was actually quite refreshing since it was a warm hot Julian day.  The kids bumped their way into the mine via train car...smiles in abundance.  We panned for "gold" and the kids exchanged their find at the assayer's office for licorice.

Ready to go in the mine!

I highly recommend this super fun time.

To all cat lovers... or not.

I am known for my loathing of cats.  haha!  This is one of the best things I've ever seen.  Enjoy!  (Even a cat-lover has to admit that this is funny.)  It was forwarded to me by my sis...I have to give credit where credit is due.

_____________________

Missing Missy -


Hi David,


I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David. 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David. 


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David. 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. You seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David. 


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. Where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David. 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do!

Cherished friends

Sisters from an era. 

 Time passed. Marriages. Moves. Children. 

Yet the bond, the trust, the comfort - is steadfast.

Stories. Outbursts of laughter. 

Concern over a sick child. Tears. 

Deep prayer needs. Intercession. 

Beauty. Pictures. 

Children meet. Training and correcting. 

A new friend. Another life on the cusp of taking his place on the world's stage. 

Passion. Great discussion. 

Memories. Smiles. 

Hugs. Appreciation.

But the greatest of these is LOVE.

The night passes too quickly and, though no one wants to, we must leave. 

 It's late. Husbands wait. Children fuss. Work begins early tomorrow. The drive home is long.

If only time could stand still 

so our hearts could be united for a few hours longer. 

 Because kindred spirits don't happen every day. 

 Reunions are rare and beautiful. Sisters are a treasure to our souls.

Yet, time and distance don't unravel the knitting of our lives. 

 We are forever intertwined, impressioned, challenged, and transformed 

by the roles we have played in one another's lives.

Michelle, Kori K., Rena, Kori P., Jeannie, Marilyn

Here's to koinonia, the sweet fellowship of heaven.

beauty from ashes, part 5

To read this story in it's entirety, please click on the "beauty from ashes: my life" tab above.

____________________________

(To read this story from the beginning, please click here.)

______________________________

That night when I stood sobbing at Renee's door, she told me she had a guest over who worked with a group called Silent Voices and that Silent Voices held a post-abortion syndrome workshop that helped women cope with and heal from their abortions.  She signed me up and paid my way.

A few weeks later, I stepped out of my car in a Chula Vista parking lot, potluck dish in hand.  There was a beautiful Hispanic woman in the parking lot.  "Surely, she isn't here for the workshop, too?" I thought.  But, she was.  We'll call her "Mona" and, as it turned out, she was the most prominent personality of the entire weekend.  Her story.  Her emotion.  The utter incomprehensibility of her situation sent our jaws to the floor.  But, that's jumping ahead.  So, let me back up.

Up the stairs we went...thoughts and curiosities of the other floating through our heads.

Me:  "She seems so put together.  I'm a mess.  How can we possibly be here for the same thing?"

Her:  "She's so young.  Too young to come to something like this."

In reality, I was young.  Just turned 20.  Of the 8 women, I was easily the youngest, not to mention the most recent woman to have aborted.  The oldest was in her 50's and the nearest to my age was in her 30's.  Women who had carried their dark secret for so long.  It had depressed them, caused them pain, cost them their marriages, led to adultery, multiple abortions, lives of chaos, confusion, despair.

So, I guess abortion isn't the convenient, do-it-quickly-during-your-lunch-break, there-are-no-emotional-or-physical-side-effects "procedure" our culture tells us it is.

(oh no!  I am forgetting them!  These beautiful women that healed alongside me ...and their stories.  Jesus, please help me to remember.)

We all shared our stories that first night.
"Laura" had 9 abortions and seemed indifferent to them all.
"Debbie" had become a prostitute.
"Mona" hid her pregnancy from her parents while she was away at boarding school as a teenager.  Her parents found out, tricked her into coming home, and dragged her from clinic to clinic for a forced abortion.  Each time she was left alone in a room, she would beg the doctor for the life of her baby.  This worked until she ended up at yet another abortion provider.  They refused her pleas and attempted the abortion.  She fled down the hallway and locked herself in a bathroom where, at 8 months pregnant, the trauma sent her into labor.  She gave birth to her baby right there in the bathroom.  When a nurse finally got the door open, she took Mona's brand new beautiful baby boy, dumped him in a bucket, and set him on a shelf to die.

We all stared in disbelief.  What a terrible thing for someone to have to go through!

And there were more stories.

And there was healing.  We shared, cried, prayed, read scripture, bonded, forgave.

I am CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD.
I am CHOSEN.
I am PROTECTED BY GOD.
I am FORGIVEN.
I am THE APPLE OF GOD'S EYE.
I am WASHED CLEAN FROM MY SINS.
I am AT PEACE WITH GOD.
I am a NEW CREATURE IN CHRIST.
I am STRONG TO THE END.
I am SET FREE.
I am FREE FROM CONDEMNATION.

3 days of intensity.  3 days of truth.
After 3 days Jesus rose from the dead.

A letter written to my baby in heaven.  Safe in the arms of Jesus.  No more pain.  Awaiting a reunion with his "mommy."

"I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

~2 Sam. 12:24b

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  When the Son sets you free, you are free indeed!" ~John 8:32, 36


Time passed.  I shared my story here and there...but never as in depth as you are reading right now.  I've visited the very clinic that took my baby, and have read the literature of lies they hand out to people men who have sat in their waiting room.  I have requested my "paperwork" and I still have it.  I've met numerous women who came clean with their story after they heard mine.  And some who didn't know why, but knew they could tell me.
And, yes, some have healed.  Some have been saved.

ALL PRAISE BE TO GOD.

I have spoken to my "boyfriend" of that time.  And, no, he has not, to my knowledge, owned up to the truth that a life was lost that day.  But, I have forgiven him in my heart and have been able to express that verbally as well as in writing.  He is well.  He has beautiful daughters and a wife, and is successful in his work.  May he one day look at his precious girls and understand fully that those are not his only children, and may he seek forgiveness and healing.  May God bless him and his family and lead them wholly to His kingdom.

Me?  I have danced this story.  I have spoken this story.  Now, I have written this story.  But, mostly, I have LIVED this story...and I continue to live it.  Because my life will always point back to that day of peripety.

I have my own 2 beautiful boys.  Brandon and Silas.  And I will never forget my precious one in Heaven.

But, most of all, I have a husband - who is "better to me than ten sons." (1 Samuel 1:8)  He was there through my weeks of tears.  He was there every day after my time at Silent Voices.  He was there to hold my hand when the Lord prompted me to share my story.  He was there when I danced this story.  He was there.  A friend.  Trustworthy, true, strong, comforting.  Little did I know that the man who helped me through the very worst and hardest time of my life would one day be my husband.  He knew it.  God knew it.  But, I didn't ...not until 8 years later.  What a treasured friend and husband I have.

And he has been witness to many tragedies of my life since.  He is a rock.  He is my protector.  He is my balance.  He is wonderful.

He is still here.

God knows best.  He wants to give us His best.

Thus far hath the Lord helped us. ~1 Samuel 7:12

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. ~Psalm 30:5b

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. ~Psalm 103:12

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. ~Romans 8:1a

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. ~Romans 8:28

But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. ~Genesis 50:20

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  Now, if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer.  Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation." ~2 Corinthians 1:3-7

So, you have read my story.  What will you do with it?

Do you know Jesus?  Have you found your life's salvation and hope in Him?  Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)  It's a narrow gate and a narrow way that leads to the one true God.  But, it is the only way.  "Do you believe what you really believe is really real?"  I do.  All you have to do is confess to God you are a sinner and invite Jesus to come into your life.  The prayer is easy.  "Call unto me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things which you do not know." (Jeremiah 33:3)  Then live your life for Him.  He will help you.  Go to a Bible-teaching church.  Obey Him.  It's the least we can do for all He has done for us.  "All day long I have stretched out My hands..." (Romans 10:21)  "For the joy that was set before Him, He endured the cross, despising the shame..."  (Hebrews 12:2. My paraphrase.)  He had his eyes on you.  You are His joy.  He died for you and in your place.  ("The wages of sin is death." -Romans 6:23)

Have you aborted?  Have you recognized the truth of the situation?  Don't be overwhelmed, heal.  Call Silent Voices.  619-422-0757.  Go to a workshop and live a free life.  http://www.silentvoices.org/  God can do great things in your life.  If you are depressed, you don't have to live that way.  "For such a time as this" God has you in this world.  And He has an incredible purpose for you.

Are you pregnant and you don't know what to do?  There are millions who want to help you.  Silent Voices is a great start...or any pro-life pregnancy care center near you.  http://www.silentvoices.org/ or call 619-422-0757.  Please let me know if you would like me to help you find a good pregnancy care center that can help you.

Share this story on your blog, on your facebook page, Twitter, email, whatever.  Print it and share it.  Maybe in all this writing, one person will heal or one person will turn to Jesus or one baby will be given life.

Thank you so dearly for your time.  I do not take lightly the commitment you have made to read this and, possibly, to invest emotionally.  It is long.  It is true.  It is another step in my own healing.  But, most of all, it is my testimony of the love, healing, redemption, mercy, salvation of an exquisite and enchanting God who sees everything we go through and He cares.  He wants us to be wholly dependent on Him.

"You turned for me my mourning into dancing.

Your removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.

In the end that my soul may sing praise to You 
and not be silent.

O Lord, my God, I will give You thanks FOREVER."

~Psalm 30:11-12

new to my blog

I just added a guest book to my blog.  

Scroll all the way to the bottom, "sign" 

and upload a pic of yourself!

Glenn Beck, Mormonism, and Christianity.

I have my own take on this (written below).  But here are some good articles an the subject.  I lean toward the 2nd but find truth in all.


Dr. Russell Moore, Professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.  God, The Gospel, and Glenn Beck.
Dr. Jim Garlow, Pastor of Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego.  Evangelicals and Glenn Beck.
Chuck Colson, Prison Fellowship.  Which God Should We Turn To?

My take on Glenn/8.28 copied from a message I wrote someone recently and embellished with today's perspective.:


I do appreciate Glenn a whole lot but am not a Glenn worshiper. LOL!


I appreciate that he tells the truth about what is going on in this nation and our history. But we do see/hear sometimes not-so-little hints of his twisted Mormon doctrine. We usually just look at each other and make some comment about the Mormonism seeping in. He is surrounded by Christians...Palin, David Barton, Dobson, etc. Who knows that the Lord isn't working on his heart? We pray for him and appreciate that when seemingly no one else "calls 'em as he sees 'em," he does.  He is truthful and well-researched.


The rally was not what I expected but I was impressed at the audience more than Glenn (it's nice to see that I'm not the only American that is fed up with the socialist-direction we are heading)...and some of the speakers, not all. It was somewhat Glenn-worship from some of the speakers and even from Glenn himself. But the sheer numbers of the crowd and their demeanor is to be recognized, admired, and to be inspired by.


Our Founders were not all Christians. All the Christian Founders wanted equal freedom of religion ...even religions they absolutely did not agree with.
I'm not preaching because I'm trying to convince you --- I'm just giving you an idea of where I stand with Glenn. We watch and listen to him often but not every day. We do catch his Friday shows since they are great history lessons. That being said, his is pretty much the only show we watch. But I can count on one hand the episodes we have caught in the past month.


Glenn leading a Christian "revival" is bothersome. Can you imagine if he was like the false prophet or something? Creepy.


I was mostly under the impression that things were terribly overdone and dramatic on Glenn's part.
However, I think it was necessary and a great coming-together of like-minded Patriots.  This, tea parties, town halls, etc., are just the thing we need to prove to ourselves and our country that we are not the stereotypical, old, white, uneducated, uninformed, racist dinosaurs the liberal left/media would love people to think and works tirelessly to portray.


Well, there's my 8-28/Glenn critique. For what it's worth.






Oh, FYI:  Miles McPherson is on GB tonight.


Please, comment and let me know your thoughts.  This is a hot issue right now and varies with different people.  Would love to hear your take on Glenn and the interaction he has with Christians and even your impression of the 8.28 Restoring Honor event.