Lord,
How discontent have I been these last couple of days?  Wickedly discontent.

Good timing for a lesson today about Psalm 90 and the importance of numbering my days and not wasting my life.

Nothing surprises You.  You are sovereign.  (I love the word "sovereign.")

You know the wickedness of our hearts, the secret darkness lurking in thoughts we would never willingly allow to escape.

The heart is deceitfully wicked.  Who can know it?
Answer: You.  You know it.  I try to mask and pretend even around You that I'm not as awful as I am, but then I realize that I'm vainly striving to convince You of anything other than reality.  And it is so much better, so much more freeing to just honestly and humbly confess the depravity of my thoughts and beg You to change me, to cause me to be grateful because in everything You have a great purpose: to cause me to be better and more like You, to help and comfort others who will later walk this same path, and for me to desire heaven more.

Change, comfort, fill me.  You know me so well.  I am so glad.

the truth about history

History is not a limited territory with defined borders that can be contained, conquered, and controlled.  It is instead a vast and limitless ocean that can only be explored and charted.  The farther you sail into the ocean of world history, the more you realize it is a journey with no end.  However, you can drop anchor at any point and probe the depths of world history where you are, and those anchors can become permanent places in your children's minds.  People, events and ideas are the anchors that will hold history in place for your children.  Your goal is not to try to cover the entire ocean surface of world history, which would require a very fast and shallow trip, but rather to pick some specific routes, stop at the most interesting places, and out down as many historical anchors as you can.  The more anchors you can create, the easier it will be for your children to begin to sort out and make sense of world history.  The best way to create those anchors is through reading whole, living books that make history come alive.

~Clay & Sally Clarkson

less of me

Circumstances of life sure have a way of blindsiding you sometimes. And yet we know that God uses everything in a life to grow us so long as we respond appropriately.

I wonder sometimes how many weird, unpredictable, outrageous things can come into a life? How many times have I said: “Really?! Who does this happen to?!” The answer is me and others who don't want a plain old apathetic, complacent existence. And it's ok.  I want radical. I want turn-the-world-upside-down-and-shake-it-up. I want to come to the kingdom for such a time as this. And I know that if I truly want to live for Him, then crazy stuff will flow my way.

Rejection happens.

Bad-decisions-turned-redemption-stories happen.

Miracles happen.

Love stories happen.

Crazy relatives happen.

Success happens.

Marginalization happens.

Slander happens.

How will I respond?

MORE of You, Jesus, and less, less, less of me.

disobedient and contrary

Reading of the resurrection of Lazarus today and the various responses to this incredible miracle:

Many Jews believed, but pharisees and the chief priests were fearful and sought to undermine the miracle, to subvert the reality of what had occurred.  They sought to kill Jesus and Lazarus.  An effort to remove any sign of the truth.  (John 11, esp. vs.45-48, 53; and John 12:10-11)

And so it is today.  News organizations omit Christian influence and events.  History revisionists omit from school textbooks anything referring to God in our founding documents.  There is nothing new under the sun. (Ecc. 1:9)

So, even when God proves Himself real, some people will still refuse to believe and actively defy the truth.  Some make it their life's mission to hate God, God's people, and to discredit Him in anyway they can be hiding the truth.  Why?

"I was found by those who did not seek Me; I was made manifest to those who did not ask for Me."
"All day long I have stretched out My hands to a disobedient and contrary people." ~Romans 10:20-21

...because there are disobedient and contrary people.  Boy!  Did this open my eyes this morning!  Sometimes, I am just shocked at people and how totally foolish they can be when the truth is staring them in the face and breathing down their neck...and yet, it seems out of pure stubbornness, they refuse to believe what is blatantly obvious.  But, here it is: people will purpose in their hearts to be disobedient and contrary, unteachable, stubborn, hard-hearted.  And for what purpose: pride.  To what end: eternal torment.    It seems the understatement of eternity, but "pride comes before a fall."  And oh, how they will fall.  As Pharaoh hardened his heart and set his eternal course, so do these disobedient and contrary people.  The course is wide and many there are who find it...leading to death.

"And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil.  For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed." ~John 3:19-20

At the risk of embodying the-pot-calling-the-kettle-"black," this causes me to consider where I am apt to be contrary.  I am the queen of stubborn.  I'm also the queen of say-it-straight like a mack truck.  (yikes.)  And I have to consciously (sometimes even after the fact...like now, as I write this section a day after posting) determine to not fight to have my own way, my own opinion, my own stance... to the death.  Some things are uncompromising, like God's Word, the sanctity of human life, etc.  But I can easily be contrary to people who disagree with me just for the sake of my own pride.  I must humble myself and genuinely attempt to see an issue from an opposing point-of-view.  This is something I have to purpose myself to do since it absolutely does not come naturally.  So, mercy isn't exactly my spiritual gift.  Sorry to those of you who have been the recipients of my lack of mercy.  Rest assured, many in the church have this gracious gift and they are much nicer than I.  So, I admit, I must look in the mirror on this one and make sure that I am not being contrary for the sake of being contrary, but seek the truth wherever it leads.  Because the truth sets us free ....even if it's different from what we originally assumed.

16 oz. of soda, please

So, the big news the other day was that NYC Mayor Bloomberg mandated that restaurants can no longer sell a soda larger than 16 ounces.  (Versions of the story: soda jerk; and Bloomberg bans soda and celebrates "Donut Day.")  He's "forcing" the people to drink less soda.  And why shouldn't he?  The libs have managed to control our healthcare so they ought to have a say in how we treat our bodies, right?  After all, they're paying for it.  And it's for your own good, anyway.  You are too stupid to decide for yourself what you should and shouldn't eat or drink.

Martin Niemoller has a famous quote:

First they came for the Communists,

and I did not speak out--

because I was not a Communist.

Then they came fort he Trade Unionist,

and I did not speak out-- 

because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I did not speak out--

because I was not a Jew.

And then they came for me--

and there was no one left to speak for me.

~Martin Niemoller

personal prisoner of Adolph Hitler

in Nazi concentration camps

A friend of mine just re-wrote it to apply to this ridiculous fascism over soft drinks, read it here.

Since this topic was on the minds of everyone the other day, it was unavoidable as I turned on talk radio while we drove down the highway.  I explained to my boys what Bloomberg had done and how utterly ridiculous it is and how it is a way to strip Americans of their freedoms.  If you give 'em an inch, they think they're the ruler.

Silas:  "Mom, I'm thirsty."
Me:  "Me too.  Would you like an orange juice or milk?"
Silas:  "Can I have a soda?"
Me:  "Sure."
Silas:  "Well," pause, "I'd like sixteen ounces of Coca Cola, please."

Mind you, he's 6 years old.  And a carbon copy of his mother, sass and all.  We sure had a good laugh.  Ultimately, I decided it was too late for a sugary soda and he had some O.J. instead (as mom, I can be a Bloomberg-type dictator to my children, it's my job), but we were in hysterics there for a while.

prayer

Sovereign, Almighty Creator, Daddy God,

Thank You for showing Yourself real and true.  In a place where reality is a carnal, ridiculous t.v show and truth is redefined as null, nonexistent, or relative and arbitrary.

So few cling to You anymore.  Even those who seemed to be Your own are turning away to satisfy their itching ears.  I think that's the most disappointing: when those who claim Your truth, love, and salvation pursue the world's version of it...which is a lie and nothing at all, yet the consequences are eternally devastating.

Redeeming Hero of the universe, allow failure to come so that a greater miracle can be done ...to widen our faith and to show Yourself sovereign and worthy of glory.

Come rescue us in this epic life we participate in.  We need our Hero to redeem us from the hand of the enemy and cause us to live happily ever after in Your holy and perfect presence.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

loss of man's favor = REJOICING!

"...And Jacob saw that Laban did not regard him with favor as he had before...
The Lord said...I will be with you. (ESV)
...I see your father's countenance that it is not favorable toward me as it was before; but the God of my father has been with me. (NKJV)..."

~Genesis 31:1-7

Loss of favor with men does not mean loss of favor with God.  

Hallelujah for that!

"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake." ~Matthew 5:11 

I know I'm being particular,
but I sorta hope my "leap for joy" looks like this one.

"Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you, and revile you, and cast our your name as evil, for the Son of Man's sake.  Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!  For indeed your reward is great in heaven, For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets." ~Luke 6:22-23

(For a gal who loves people, and loves people to love her; this is a really potent and necessary truth.  Help me to rejoice in these seasons, Lord!)