Mourning to Dancing: A blade of grass

Sunday, March 28, 2010

A blade of grass

"I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it." -Chuck Swindoll

This quote is staring at me as I prepare to read the next chapter of Sarah Palin's book. I used to live by these wise words and have somehow forgotten them, and how to apply them to my own life. A friend told me once that I was like a blade of grass...when I get stomped down, I'm down for a bit and then I pop right back up. I know that is in me somewhere but it seems lost at the moment.

Jaci Velasquez lyrics come to me..."Here I am again willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain. Tell me what I have to do to die and then be raised to reach beyond the pain like a flower in the rain." Such a theme song of my life at one time and yet I wish I could blossom in the downtimes like I once did so well. But I hold bitterness and hurt so much tighter now. Why is that?

And my mind...thoughts play over and over in my mind. What does that person think of me? What do they say when I'm not around? Ugh! It is absolutely the enemy. Even if these people do disapprove of me. Who cares!? God knows the motives of my heart. He knows my heart! All I need is to please Him and no one else. "For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." (Gal. 1:10) (Haha! My spell check doesn't recognize the word "bondservant", a reflection of culture, I guess.)
And I try to take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Jesus, but they still dominate my mind. I must replace them with thoughts that are true. "God is good." "He has a plan for me." "I am significant to Him." "He will use me." "He gives me passions, talents, gifts, and opportunities. What are they? How am I going to use them?"

So, here's to "bouncing back" no matter who may gloat or boast at your downfall. God is picking me back up. Why should I return to the pit? Get out and walk away from it. Letting no one take from me what God is doing. Not any person, not the enemy of my soul.

2 comments:

AnonymousApril 5, 2010 at 7:17 PM
It's so hard for me to picture you 'wondering' what others think of you...behind your back. However, questioning is totally normal. To me, you are the epitome of confidence, goodness, generosity, love and pure joy. Such a woman of faith. I don't know of a single person who wouldn't totally agree with the above description. I will pray that you will see yourself the exact way that Jesus sees you....in His image. I admire you so much... You are truly a genuine woman of God. Suddenly it's so simple to see where those thoughts that make you question are coming from. It's from the 'other' side. Certainly Satan tries to tear you down BECAUSE you are such a fine woman of God! If you weren't, he wouldn't waste his time on you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.
I love you dearly, Kathy
ReplyDelete
Replies
KoriApril 6, 2010 at 9:28 PM
Thanks Kath! You are such an encouragement. It's so awesome because a day or two after this post, I had a major turning point regarding a situation that I have been dealing with (and the heart of where this post came from). So, the blade has sprung back up! Yea! God is so good. I think we just need time to heal and get to that place. You know? I was feeling so pressured to be there prematurely. And now I am so free! Halleluiah!
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are walking according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh." (Rom. 8:1) I have been knowing that in my head, but now I feel free to apply it to my heart and life and reactions. Praise the Lord!
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Insights from Brandon

"My brother is crazy because he drinks a lot of fruit juice." (7-5-10)

A phone call.

Dad: "Hey Brandon, do you miss me?"

Brandon: "Actually, Dad, I've been having such a good time, I haven't really thought about you."

While watching the Perseid Meteor Shower, Daddy put away the telescope. B says: "Well, we'll have to depend on our eyes now." (8-12-10)

Was watching AFV with B. I said, "I've never seen a cat do that." B looked at me and stated very matter-of-fact: "Well, now you have." (8/22/10)

B: "Mom, Si said he was mad at you and daddy because he couldn't go miniature golfing. I told him he should be mad at satan because satan made him be bad." Me: "Brandon, you know satan doesn't make us do anything. We all make our own decisions." B: "Oh! Thank you, Mom. I guess I don't know everything." (9/11/10)

"I can only find my sandals. If Jesus can wear 'em, I can wear 'em!" (11/15/10)

B: "Mom, instead of just buying milk at the store..."

Me: "...we should just get a cow?"

B: "Yes! Cows are my favorite animal."

Me: "Do you like cows because they make milk?"

B: "Yes! Milk is my favorite drink."

Me: "Yes, well, where would we keep it?" (1/12/11)

J: "Does anyone know what 'reproach' means?"

B: "Well, I think I sort of know. It's like when you first approach somebody and then you reproach them later." (1/17/11)

"I love me! I love myself! I'm a genius!" ...upon great success playing his math game. Don't worry, I reminded him of the Proverb: Let another man praise you and not your own lips. And then I praised him and told him he's a genius. (2/18/11)

"Mom! I didn't know I could have so much fun in one day!" Excitedly pronounced as we exited Circus Circus. (3/18/11)

B: "Mom, Si's having an otter pop. Can I have one?"

Me: "Yes."

B: "But, you said we couldn't have dessert."

Me: "Well, Daddy said yes."

B: "Oh! It doesn't matter what you say, Mom; it matters what Dad says!" (8/27/11)

B: "There's 2 reasons why I was in the bathroom for so long. I was going poo...that's number one..." Mommy: "Don't you mean that's number 2?" (2/15/12)

Me: "Brandon, I'm teaching Sunday School tomorrow and I need you to help me collect some Legos for a game we're playing."

B: "Wow, Mom! Thanks for telling me. I'm a Lego genius!"

Me: "Your brother likes being dirty."

B: "Yeah. Dirty's his favorite thing. I think he likes it more than his favorite color." (2/18/13)

At a memorial for our friend, Sharon Bergman:

Dutch (Sharon's husband) to B: "I'm really glad you guys came today. It really means a lot."

B: "Well, I really didn't have a choice." (6/1/13)

"One thing's for sure: I never get tired of going to church! (2014)

Silas speaks

"Mommy, Jesus was in my dream and He said, 'You should obey your mom and dad everyday.'" (4-5-10)

I got the ice cream out of the freezer and set it on the stove to dish some up for the boys and Silas says, "Don't warm it up, Mom! Then it won't be ice cream, it will just be cream." (6/4/10)

Silas: "Dad, why is the earth made of dirt?'

Daddy: "That's a strange question coming from a kid that should be asleep."

Silas: "But it's a good one." (6/6/10)

"I picked up Daddy's rubber band (the theraband Jamie is using for p.t. on his arm) and I looked around and no one was looking, but I knew God was looking so I put it back." (6/7/10)

We were having lunch at Calico's (a restaurant) and Silas says to the owner, "Brandon is sad because he likes the Fudge Factory better." (7/22/10)

B: "Grammy we got Twinkies at the Bottle Shop for an after-lunch treat."

Si: "Yeah, We had zucchinis...I mean, whatever-they're-called." (8/21/10)

B: "Mommy, I want to sleep with you."

Mommy: "That's nice, but you need to sleep in your own bed."

Si: "I want to sleep on the crouton." (He meant the futon in our room.) (8/22/10)

Me: "Si, what was your favorite part of Sunday School today." Si: "Saying my memory verse." Me: "Really? What was it?" Si: "I don't remember." (9/12/10)

I'm going through Madeline for our Five-In-A-Row lesson, and I asked the boys what tower is in Paris. Si shouts, "The Tower of Terror!" I guess the ride at Disneyland made an impression. (9/27/10)

Si & I were at the Miramar Air Show when a man sitting in front of us fell unconscious. By all observations, he was dead. So, I prayed and helped how I could. After a while, we walked away and I tried to explain to Si what had happened. I asked him if he'd like to pray for the man and his wife and he did. His prayer was beautiful and perfect. After praying, he said to me, "Mommy, when I was praying I thought my eyes were going to cry." I told him that those are the best prayers. (10/1/10)

We were talking about the Lamb's Book of Life during breakfast, and Si says, "Mom, I think we should pray right now that our names are in the Book." "Okay, honey," I said, "go ahead and we will all pray." About 3 minutes later, I continued to read the Bible story and I saw Si, head bowed, hands clasped. "Siley, are you praying again?" "Yes, mommy. I really want my name in that book." (11/30/10)

Watching the Charger game.

"The reason why they call him 'Rivers' is because his shirt is blue." (12/16/10)

Spoken as dramatically as you can comprehend: "I am the golden child!" (12/20/10)

Daddy: "Are you excited to see your great-grandmother tomorrow?"

Si: "I don't even know who she is."

Daddy: "She is Baba's mom."

Si: "I didn't know moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas have moms and dads."

Daddy: "Baba and Dadu are my mom and dad."

Si: "How do you know?"

Jamie went into a lengthy answer about living with them while he was young, etc., then Silas asked, "Well then, why did you leave them?" (12/21/10)

After writing the letter 'q'. "Wow! That's a great whatever-that-letter-is!" (1/17/11)

"I burped three times. Excuse me... Thrice!" (5/28/11)

Me: "Boys, who is your favorite hero and why?"

Si: "God. Because anytime He wants He can turn me into a chicken." (1/12/12)

Me: "Real life is way better than school." Si: "I'll tell you what's better than school...learning about heaven!" (2/6/12)

Grammy: "Si, wouldn't you want a million dollars?" Si: "No, because it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (7/15/14)

Si: "Mom, you know how Obamacare only really works for people who are old?" Me: "Yeah." Si: "Well, if I become a famous ball player, I can take care of you. It'll be Silas-care!" (10/21/14)

"I'm just a big blob of tissue right now. Standing here, talking, walking around, looking like a person. I'm just a big blob of tissue." (5/15/15)

Ganging up together...

B: "Silas, you know, when you drop one of my favorite things, your brain tells your bones to do it." To which Si responds: "Maybe that's it! My brain's being mean to me!!" (9/1/10)

B: "Hey! You killed me! Why'd you do that?"

Si: "Well, you ran in front of my gun...what do you expect?" (4/23/11)

The boys are coloring.

me: "Who is that?"

B: "Abraham Lincoln."

me: "What's he doing?

B: "Reading."

Me: "He's reading by the firelight. Everything he ever learned, he taught himself."

Si: "So did Yoda." (2-12-12 Happy Birthday, Abe.)

Si: "Mom, you know why I like being the youngest? It's like Jacob and Esau...'the oldest shall serve the youngest.'"

B: Laughing, "Yeah, this morning he asked if I would sell my birthright." (9-17-12)

Great Quotes

"Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm." ~Abraham Lincoln

"In contemplating the political institutions of the United States, [if we remove the Bible from schools] I lament that we waste so much time and money in punishing crimes and take so little pains to prevent them." ~Dr. Benjamin Rush, The Father of the Public Schools under the Constitution

"Those who have known freedom and lost it have never known it again." ~Ronald Reagan

"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." ~Mark Twain

"Act as though it's all up to you; Pray as though it's all up to Him." ~Glenn Beck

"God uses each of us within the limitations of our personalities. ...it is Him in me that will reach the world." ~Sally Clarkson

"If I had a choice, I would still choose to remain blind...for when I die, the first face I will ever see will be the face of my blessed Savior." ~Fanny Crosby (author of more than 8000 hymns)

"Cat food tastes so bad cats deserve it." ~Hank the Cowdog

Mourning to Dancing

Pages

Sunday, March 28, 2010

A blade of grass

2 comments:

Total Pageviews

Unique visitors...welcome!