Gosh! Don't we all struggle with feeling like we aren't doing enough? I do all the time. And then I have to stop and remember that God fills in all the areas I miss with my kids. I attend a Mom's group weekly where we go through Sally's books. We were discussing this very subject a few weeks ago and a story Sally shared once came to mind. She saw a scope & sequence and realized she hadn't taught the children what bodies of water were and so she started to beat herself up over it. Then, she quizzed her kids to see if they knew. They were so well-read that in their reading, they had learned about bodies of water. Also, Sally shared at her last conference that she had to send Sarah and Joel off to take their SAT's and she knew she hadn't taught them all they needed to know for the test. But God was there and they passed with flying colors. We are all so inadequate. But, God is our help. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9-10)
I have 2 boys and can't have any more. (Unless the Lord calls us to adoption...) And I am a full-time, stay-at-home/homeschooling mom. My boys are 4 & 5 so not as old as yours. I struggled the first years of my boys life with feeling like I should be doing more with my life, that I should work, that I should do something other than look at the 4 walls of my house. I used to call my life "Groundhog Day" because everyday was exactly the same and I was depressed. But the Lord has transformed my perspective (Thanks to Sally) and now, I treasure my time at home with my boys and we are learning so much together. I have found a new passion in schooling my boys and, for me personally, a deep passion and love for my country as we study our founders, the American Revolution, etc. It is so cool how the Lord takes the mundane tasks of our days and starts to open ministry/generational opportunities from them. God has a great plan for your life! And shaping the hearts of your children is of utmost importance. Don't be discouraged by what you see in others around you.
Looking down depresses us.
Looking around distracts us.
Looking up delivers us.
(I know that isn't originally how I heard it but you get the gist. heehee!)
For me, right now, I feel so passionate and commissioned to raise godly children who love God, love our country, know the truth of our history and God's hand in it, and will grow into men who defend the truth, stand up for righteousness (especially in a culture that is plunging into despair, immorality, and selfishness), and love their own families one day. They will learn all of that from me and my husband. What a very important job we have! Our children are the future leaders. I hope you are encouraged at the incredible importance of your influence on your boys. 3 boys! Awesome! We need godly men. And there you are, with 3 in your own home. Keep on keepin' on, girl! The enemy would love to discourage you because you have influence over the minds and hearts of these boys. Bless you for staying home and serving them. In that, you are serving HIM!!!!
I do hope you are feeling better, Melinda. It is so hard being a mom...especially in a culture where we practically have to be Wonder Woman to be perceived "worthy". Mom is the hardest job in the world. And the most important!