Thursday, October 7, 2010

Lee

Ever since I posted my abortion story, I have received incredible feedback from every possible end of the spectrum that you can (and can't) imagine.  I received this one recently and got permission to share it.  Thank you for reading.  We must get the truth out there and change the tide of the pro-life/pro-choice battle.  A life is a life.  Women and men are hurting and babies are dying BY THE MILLIONS.

Kori,

Thanks for sharing your story about abortion. I, too, have an abortion story with a little different angle to it.
When Roe vs. Wade went into effect I was 22 and worked as a patient aide in GYN Surgery at a hospital in Portland OR.  My thoughts at the time were, "I would never do that myself and I think it is totally crazy, but people will have abortions whether or not they are legal and it would be better to have them done in sterile conditions rather than young girls using hair pins, crochet hooks, etc. and risk infection, or death trying to do it themselves."
Not long after abortion was legalized, a doc who practiced at the hospital came up with his own procedure for saline abortion.  That was safer than the regular needle procedure by using a balloon catheter to infuse the saline into the uterus, then the women were transferred to our floor to await labor and delivery. Of course they were never told that they would experience labor they were told it was just like having cramps during a period. It still makes me feel angry all the lies told to these young girls.
At first, I was totally fascinated by the development of the babies.  It was such a miracle of God to see how perfectly they were formed and it wasn't long before I was totally abhorred by the thought that anyone could want to kill their own flesh and blood.  What were they thinking?!  But, they just believed what they were told, that it was just a clump of cells and not a baby at all.
I can't tell you how often I wanted just to show them their baby and tell them, "Look what you just did! You killed your baby!"  Of course, I never did that because I would have lost my job.  It also always got to me when they asked if it was a boy or girl!  We, of course, told them that we couldn't tell, but we did know and could have told them except for medical policy.
There were always at least 2 abortions in progress and often 4 or more depending on how empty or full the GYN floor was for regular surgical patients.
Eventually, I felt like an accomplice to murder.  But, even though I didn't want to participate, and everyone on our floor felt the same, I had no choice so I tried to be a comfort to them in their pain.  However the result for me was that it literally rotted out my guts and I ended up having emergency surgery.  I was on so much phenobarb that I could barely even walk down the halls and do my job for a while.
I tried to transfer off that floor and work anywhere else in the hospital.  I was interviewed for many other positions but never got them.  Finally, at one of my interviews I was told, "You know, Lee, you can keep going for interviews but we all have been told by your nursing supervisor that we can interview but never hire you because she doesn't want to lose you. It is very hard to work with GYN patients and you are too good at it."
My observation of the girls who went through abortion was that 9 times out of 10 they were angry and hostile and not nice to be around. They were demanding and very selfish but maybe that is just the way they were acting out because of the guilt they felt.
We had one 13-year-old that had a 26-year-old boyfriend that had 3 abortions when her boyfriend should have been charged with statutory rape and put away instead of her having so many abortions!
I was always reminded of the 10 lepers because that was about the ratio of those who thanked us for our help. It was a very hard job that required a lot of physical labor after they delivered. Having to clean them up, change the bedding, and collect their unwanted child to be sent to pathology.
The one that really did me in was the one born alive.  That baby had more fat on it than my youngest daughter when she was born 2 weeks early! Of course, by the time I notified the charge nurse and her doctor the baby had died.
I have carried this burden so long.  It feels good to express it. I know that God has forgiven me and I know that He has used me to help some of the girls make a better choice or to comfort them in their need.
One I do remember was a gal that looked so much like one of my college roommates.  She was hard to forget and I still pray for her although I no longer remember her name.  She had a particularly hard delivery.  Because work was so slow that night I spent almost my whole shift with her and finally towards the end of the shift she delivered. I did the routine things, to clean her up, give her food, change her bed, etc., then went to do my charting for the night.  I was totally exhausted, mentally, physically and spiritually at that point. Then her light came on and my immediate reaction was one of anger that I expressed to my co-workers, "What, now, can she possibly want?"
So I went to answer her light and she was one of the few of the 10. "Lee, I know that I will never see you again in my life but I want you to know that I will never forget you as long as I live.  Thank you so much for being here with me when there was no one else, thank you for giving so much of your time and for helping me through this."  She was one that had been forced to have an abortion when she really didn't want to.  I have prayed through the years that she would receive God's healing that she will know how much God loves her.
One of my charge nurses always baptised the babies born on her shift because she had been taught that unless a baby is baptised it goes to hell.  I believe that scripture teaches otherwise.  I know that all those innocents went straight home to the arms of Jesus and what better place could they be?
Our society is such a sad commentary that they think that it is perfectly OK to commit premeditated cold blooded murder which is what I believe abortion to be.  Maybe not so much by the innocent girls that are lied to, but by the machinery that convinces them that it is just a clump of cells!
Roe vs. Wade has never been about a woman's right to her body - it has always and ever will be about the MONEY and that is all.
The young doctor that invented his own safer method for saline abortions became a millionaire his first year of practice and even though he didn't think it was a good thing he still did it because he might at least help a few to protect their reproduction system because if he didn't do them, someone else would.  Sad, Sad, Sad!
The end of my participation in abortions came the night I was helping to transfer a surgery patient.  She had grabbed a hold of my arm for dear life because the anesthetic made her think that an inch opening from the gurney to the bed was like the grand canyon!  The orderly from recovery was very impatient because he had many more patients to deliver to their floors so he took hold of the sheet and just whipped her into the bed which tore all the muscles from my spine from mid-neck to mid-back! That is what removed me from the floor and ended any career
in nursing for me.  I was all registered to get my RN when this happened so had to drop out.
What I wanted to do in life was get my MS in nursing so I could teach it but evidently God had other plans. :)
Both Tom and I think the world of you and Jamie! We love you lots!
Thanks for letting me share with you! I thought of just getting together with you sometime but I write better than I talk so decided just to tell you this way, of course I'm open to sharing too if you want.
Love in Jesus!
Lee

2 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for publishing this, Kori. I think doing anything you can to put a voice to even one more untold story illuminates the horror people would rather not discuss. I love your bravery and conviction -- Go Girl!!!

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