Set down your stars.

More insight from the Intensive.

Zan Tyler, in all her cute-ness, said something that weekend that I think of constantly...probably because I fail in this area numerous times a day.

We are moms and we are busy.  We have a calling to make our children a priority.  Some of us are also called to other things.  For me, blogging, parade, CWA, Mom Heart, etc.  But we must put first thing's first.

He had in His right hand seven stars, our of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength.  And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead.  But He laid His right hand on me, saying to me, "Do not be afraid;  I am the First and the Last." ~Revelation 1:16-17 (emphasis mine)

Did you see that?  He had stars in His right hand and then He put His right hand on His child.  It doesn't say that He set down the stars, but He must have...unless Jesus has TWO right hands.

Jesus sees when one of His children is in need and He meets that need first, then goes back to work.  We need to meet the needs of our children as they inconveniently occur. Set down our stars, focus on that child, and then pick the stars back up and finish the work.

I just thought this was a beautiful picture and applicable since I can often get "too busy" for my children.  Actually this is a genuine and difficult struggle for me.  Let it not be so.  I must set down my stars to do the greater work of loving my children and my husband.


p.s. Jennifer's post on the subject: Whose Are You?

abortion doulas

(Taken from a recent Silent Voices Newsletter.)

Lauren Mitchell struggled to adjust to her new role as a doula.  She is one of many trained, as the Greek term literally means, to assist in childbirth. "What you get very used to is this weird mix of tragedy and relief and sex and emotions," she says.  "There's always this interesting mix of remorse and relief."

If that doesn't sound like a traditional birth experience to you, you're right.  Lauren is an abortion doula, taught to coach mothers not in the birth, but killing of children.  She is one of dozens of volunteers with The Doula Project in Manhattan.  The group covertly works in two unidentified abortion mills, including one that specializes in late-term abortions.

One doula says her job is to "offer patients whatever they need: someone to joke with, someone to cry with, maybe someone to rub their feet."  Another described how she helped a mother by simply blocking her view of lethal injection syringes and an ultrasound monitor with her soon-to-be dead baby's image on it.  She considered that a successful intercession.  But where will these abortion helpers be when days, months, or years later, these hurting mothers are faced with an inescapable sense of loss, depression, and regret?  What jokes will they distract them with then?

This phenomenon is a tragedy of wolves in sheep's clothing.   Not only does the masquerade deny women the true support they need, it also presents an ironic problem for the abortion community itself.  They've spent decades claiming that terminating pregnancies does not bring difficult, painful, or troubling consequences.  Promoting this service is the ultimate admission they were wrong.

Unfortunately, the existence of the abortion doula could be the start of a bigger push.  These helpers could soon be the ones to fill in for a nationwide shortage of abortionists by administering lethal drugs, too.  If so, you can count on us to push right back.  We'll always champion for baby birthdays, not death days - and that's something every doula should be doing, too.

Written by Bradley Mattes for Life Issues Institute.  September 3, 2010. 

P.S.  Read Sarah Mae's post today.  Must be a theme.

How do you like them apples?

We picked apples at Raven Hill Orchard in Julian.  They allowed taste-testing and had several varieties to choose from.

Brandon told Lisa all about his Lego collection.

Lisa and I met in the Denver airport in August.  We both were on our way to the Mom Heart Intensive Training with Sally Clarkson and had apparently been on the same flight from San Diego.  As Providence would have it, we were roomies.  I mentioned before how the ladies I met in Colorado are the most treasured group of ladies in the world, working hard to raise a generation of world-changers.  This is our first time seeing one another since we parted ways in Colorado.  Her boys are the same age as mine.  Awesome.  Tell me God doesn't care about the details.  The one girl from my city has 2 boys only a month or so younger than my own.  They hit it off and became warrior brothers from the get-go.

The greatest hide-out of all time.
Our boys played for 3 hours in this tree,
which was great because Lisa and I got plenty of time to talk. 

The little boy version of Charlie's Angels.  No, I didn't pose them.  This was all on their own. LOL!
The apples are fireballs and the sticks apparently transition from gun to sword at will.
Of course, Si received a battle injury.  Took a tree branch to the head.
Thankfully no stitches needed, but a few steri-strips now hold him together.

Old friends now.  They've fought dragons & bad guys together.

When Character Was King: Ronald Reagan

We have spent much time in recent weeks on the person of Ronald Wilson Reagan.

I have been listening to an audio book titled, When Character Was King by Peggy Noonan.  It is beautifully written.  Peggy also wrote Patriotic Grace which I have been reading for the past few weeks as well.

section of the Berlin Wall

Reagan was 30 years old when World War 2 began.  30 years old.  Often at 36, I think the purpose of my life is now...and it is, but I have so much ahead of me, Lord willing, and who knows where I may end up or what God will call me to?  Certainly I can look back through my life and see His hand upon it.  Disneyland, Miriam, my marriage, the move to Borrego and the incredible benefit that has been to me as a wife and mom, and now.  Today, I am actively involved in the Salt & Light ministry at my church and my activity with CWA (Concerned Women for America) is intertwined with it, I home school my children and the effects of that are eternal, I love to encourage true worship in movement, and I have enjoyed so much planning the home town parade in Borrego...  Life is now.  But it is not only now.  Reagan was 30 when WW2 hit.  40 years later he would become arguably the greatest President this world has ever known.  He was SAG president and faced communism head-on, he was governor of California, he went through a devastating divorce.  And life goes on.  God isn't done with us until He calls us home.  His family will say that even in his dementia, God used him.

about to enter Reagan's Presidential Library

Precious one, your life is not now as you look around you all it will ever be...whether good or bad.  Yes, life is a vapor, but even vapors twist and turn and evolve in one beautiful wisp after another until one day it vanishes altogether...with just a faint memory of beauty.  "Wherever you are, be all there."  And if I may add, don't dwell on what once was, but look around you for what can be now and dream of what may come.  Be idealistic.  Moses was 80 when he began his ministry.  Reagan was 70 when he became a great President...and I suggest, perhaps, it was his age and experience that made him so great.  We only get better with age.  Relish it.

Reagan didn't run for office because it was what he wanted, he ran because the people wanted him.  Can you honestly say that about our leaders today?  I imagine there must be a small handful that serve sincerely out of duty and the good of the people and not their own personal gain or prestige, but most serve for selfish reasons...power, money and influence.  Reagan only ran when he knew the people wanted him.

model of the White House at the Reagan Library

Nancy.  She was his protector.

A hefty portion of this book is dedicated to the assassination attempt on Reagan.  As it should be, I guess, but I found myself surprised at the time spent on the subject.  Why?  Maybe because it hasn't been amplified by the media in my life or in the history books.  I don't know.  But, it was a very significant event.  He almost died and clearly God's hand of protection was on him.  Today, we saw at the Presidential Library the suit he was wearing and the very minuscule bullet hole in his coat.  I was near tears numerous times as various account and perspectives were narrated about this event.  All of them captivating.

Just helping the old man down the hall.

As I finished this wonderful account of Reagan's life on our long drive to our home school group the other day, I was moved to tears.  The man who coined the phrase "Peace through strength" ended his life in quiet mystery.  It must bless Nancy beyond belief to hear people talk about their memories of her husband.  He was an amazing man.  Yes, mistakes were made.  But, who's perfect?  He was a truly amazing President.  Humble. Real. Kind. Firm.

My precious warrior prince.

The end reflected on the children of one of the men in Reagan's administration.  He took his sons through the White House to show them where his dad used to work.  The boys had toy swords and were acting out the part of warriors.  The author commented on the value of our boys growing up knowing there are things worth fighting for and defending.  I have two little warriors in my own home.  It was a nice confirmation.

Pray for the USA, week of September 26

Act as if it’s all up to you; 

Pray as if it’s all up to Him.

PRAISE HIM!
Defense Authorization Bill discussion stopped on the senate floor. (via Citizen Link, CWA, PersonalLiberty.com)

This puts the bill on the shelf until Dems find a loophole to schedule another vote which may not happen until after the November elections.  This bill would repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell and allow abortion provision for military bases both here and abroad.

Also attached to this, somehow, is the DREAM Act, an amendment to allow amnesty for illegal aliens to gain citizenship by high school graduation (paid for by your tax dollars) or pursuing military service.  In a few words:  illegal alien bailout.

DISCLOSE Act went to a vote again this week.  Needed 60 to pass, final tally 59-39.  Whew!  That was a close one.  (via Citizen Link)

To review, DISCLOSE stifles Americans’ legitimate right to political speech. The bill increases bureaucratic regulations, which will punish small business owners and grassroots groups.  It places onerous regulations on campaign activity, which will all but eliminate grassroots advocacy.

FYI:
Obama omits "by our Creator" in his quoting of the Declaration of Independence. (via PersonalLiberty.com, AFA, Examiner)

"From the overflow of the heart does the mouth speak." (Mt. 12:34)  Also, he was using a teleprompter so it seems intentional.

VOTE!

Proposition 19 (CA) legalizes marijuana.  No, not “medical marijuana,” because that’s already California law and is unaffected. (via MarijuanaHarmsFamilies.com)

Marijuana is the #1 addiction of teens in rehab, a stepping off point for cocaine and meth use, 4 times more potent than it was in the 1970's, & harms lungs more than cigarettes.

Legalizing would make possible: sale in grocery stores, drugged driving (more so than is already happening), high on the job, high insurance rates, farmland used for marijuana farms, ruins minds, lives & families.

Proposition 23 (CA) would suspend AB32, "The Global Warming Solutions Act of 2006" which is a California "Cap & Trade" bill. (via California Jobs Initiatative, SuspendAB.org)

PG&E opposes Prop 23 but supports AB32 and why shouldn't they?  High energy usage = higher rates = PG&E rolling in more of your cash.  You're so generous!  PG&E will thank you for opposing Prop 23. Vote No on 23. 

Cap & Trade redistributes wealth and will be devastating to businesses, personal property rights, private energy usage, etc.  It is another way that big government is barging it's way into your personal life and your home.  High regulation and high energy fees.

______________________________

*To find your congressman, go to www.govtrack.us.  Once you find your congressman, click on their website and there should be a contact tab on the home page.

Reaching for the Son.

Completing him...before the wedding

High Tea at the Huntington Library, Pasadena, CA. 2002.

 "When I found the one whom my soul loves 

I held him,

and would not let him go..."

~Song of Solomon 3:4

I have often said that Jamie and I have 

an "Anne of Green Gables" love story

...and now you will see why.

Jamie and I met the summer of 1992 through friends.  His best friend was dating my friend's sister.  They had wanted us to meet and I resisted.  One night, I ended up at my friend's home after work and they threw me in her mom's minivan and zipped me up to Poway.  I had no idea where we were headed and was excited about the surprise destination until I finally realized I was going to be meeting this guy.

They jumped out.  I followed reluctantly and met Jamie.  We went for a walk in the night to a nearby park and the first thing he asked me was about my salvation in Jesus.  Over the next year and a half, we dated a few months, broke up, dated again, broke up.  Until I went through the most desperately trying time of my life.  A few months later, I knew I had to tell Jamie what I had gone through.  I don't know why.  I just felt compelled to let him know.  Jamie ended up being a true friend and confidante.  I was so thankful for his friendship and trustworthiness.  It became obvious that he wanted more than friendship and so, I backed out of our friendship.  Since my abortion and the broken relationship with the guy I was with at that time, I had no desire to have a boyfriend or any romantic relationship.  I was just too hurt and convinced I didn't deserve to be with anyone save Jesus.  So, Jamie and I parted ways...or more accurately, I parted.  

I ended up meeting a sweet man, a Christian, and we eventually got engaged.  And I landed the job dancing at Disneyland during this time.  As the engagement drew on, it became very clear that he was not who God had for me.  He was kind and sweet, but just not the one.  How did I know this?  After an argument over the phone one morning (which Jamie ironically witnessed...since I stayed with his family on occasion), I got in my car a drove from Poway to Disneyland.  It's an hour and a half drive so I had a lot of time to think.  Clear as anything and almost audibly I heard God say to me, "He's not the one."  "What?" I replied.  Again, "He's not the one."  Peace overwhelmed me and I knew it was over between me and this guy.  So a few days later when I saw him, we ended our relationship amicably and peacefully.  (Click here for this whole story.)  Matter of fact.  It was simple, clean, clear, right.  A few days later, Jamie had arranged to get together.  I was convinced that we were going to hang out as friends.  Over dinner, he asked me what happened with the guy I was with, so I told him that God told me it was over.  Then Jamie said something to me I will never forget and took me by surprise, "Has God told you anything about me?"  I was so clueless that he even liked me anymore.  It had been several months since we cut things off.  Much had happened in my life.  Healing.  Engagement.  Disneyland.  Dance ministry. My new life in Christ.  So, I assumed he had moved on too.  But, no, he was waiting for me.

I was so taken aback by his question that I had no idea how to respond except to be truthful.  So, I reached across the table and put my hand on his and said, "Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry, but no."  

And so, over the next couple of years, on occasion, Jamie would corner me and ask, "Has God told you anything about me?"  I would always say, "No."  And he would be cool as a cucumber. He did tell me once, though, that God told him I was the one he would marry and he was just supposed to wait for me.  At times, I would be frustrated, rude and blunt.  I was totally convinced we would never end up together.  

He finally started dating someone new.  They were together for 3 years.  And then one day he called me and said they were over.  They fought all the time.  He wanted to know why he and I had never argued.  He wanted to come up to Orange County and take me to dinner.  I tried to discourage him, but he was persistent, so I tried to find the most un-romantic restaurant I could think of.  So, I found a place called "The Barn."  LOL!  I had knee surgery.  He came up to take care of me.  I moved.  He came up to move my things...numerous times...even when I was overseas on cruise ship contracts.  He was always there helping me.  You already know how he comforted me so much through my abortion.  

On my second cruise, my Grandfather became very ill.  He had heart surgery the day before I went to the ship.  He was fine when I left, but his condition worsened and my communication with family was very limited because we were coming through Central America and the Panama Canal.  I was able to call from Mexico days before we ported in San Diego and discovered my precious Grandpa was in and out of ICU.  He sounded terrible.  I prayed he would hold on until the ship arrived in San Diego.  On a Friday morning, I woke early.  Got myself together and waited until the ship was clear to disembark.  I rushed up to the open top deck and stood on a platform.  My family, Jamie, and his parents were on the embarcadero.  I shouted to them and they all waved.  I waited impatiently to get off the ship and as soon as I was off, I jumped in my mom's car and all of us rushed to the hospital where my Grandpa was back in the ICU.  I went in to see him.  He was able to open his eyes and I could see he was trying to talk to me, but no sound came out.  My Uncle Troy stood on the other side of the bed.  My Grandpa just stared at me and I at him...trying not to cry.  Troy said, "Hey Dad, Kori's good medicine, eh?"  And my Grandpa nodded his head.  What a gift to me in those last moments I would ever see my beloved Grandpa!  He squeezed my hand and then I had to go.  I had to return to the ship.  Why?  Why didn't I just stay off that stupid ship?  A major regret of my life.  

The following Monday, I arrived in Vancouver.  I called my mom.  My Uncle Todd spoke to me.  They were making the very difficult decision to take my Grandpa off life support.  I hesitated and clung to the phone, not wanting to hang up.  As long as I held the phone line open, my Grandpa was alive.  But I knew that after I hung up, the decision would be made and he would be gone.  I loved my Grandpa so desperately.  He was so special. He was my only father figure for most of my life.  I treasured him more than I can ever express.  My Grandpa had a round head and a crew cut.  He would sit on the leather chair in the living room, and read his paper and I would brush the palm of my hand across the short hairs on top of his head and tell him he needed a haircut and kiss him on his head.  He called me "Coke" and he often told me, "Honey, don't ever change."  He appreciated my crazy energy and spunk.  I knew I meant all the world to him...all of us grandchildren were special to him.  And I may be delusional in saying this but I always felt like I was the most special.  I was the first grandchild.  In truth, I doubt I was any more special than any other, but he made me feel that way.  He was special.

And so, that Monday, my Grandpa breathed his last and I was not there for it.  But Jamie.  He was in the hospital that day.  He wasn't in the room, but he was there.  I thought nothing of it at the time.  But, now it means all the world to me. 

Jamie has been present during the greatest tragedies of my life.  A year earlier, I had returned from Europe after an ugly end to my first cruise ship contract.  He was at the airport...with a rose in hand.  I have a picture of us hugging.  But, again, I didn't give it a second thought at the time.

And so several years passed.

In 2002, the Monday before Jamie's graduation from the Academy was the 8 year anniversary of my abortion.  Although it had been a good day, I wished that someone could share it with me and then I wished it could be Jamie.  I wrote him a letter I never planned on giving to him and found old letters of his.  I had read his letters before and always tossed them aside and all of a sudden I found myself reading the very same letters and sobbing my heart out.  I couldn't believe that someone would love me that much.  I felt more and more drawn to him and all I could think of was 1 John 4:19, "We love Him because He first loved us."  It was Jamie's love that was drawing me back to him.  The Lord began opening my eyes to everything Jamie had done for me, even beyond his wonderful support during the roughest time of my life.  He was the first person I called when my dance ministry broke up.  All along he had always made sacrifices for me.

I flew to Sacramento the following Thursday evening to meet him for the graduation.  In spite of my very late flight and his having to be up very early, he still said he would meet me at the airport, stating, "It will only prove that I love you."

The graduation was a test for me.  How will I feel when I see him?  I just stepped back and waited.  Nothing.  He held my hand on the return to the airport...and I didn't pull my hand away.

Upon returning home, I found myself praying like crazy because I just didn't know what to do.  I was reading Choosing God's Best:

Christians don't follow a dream, they follow God's revelation.  They look toward the Revealer.

For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. ~1 Sam. 16:7

If you find yourself falling for a girl who offers you only casual friendship, or worse, the cold shoulder, first get it settled with God that she is the one to pursue.  Even if a woman tells a man to "get lost" but he knows in his heart that she's the right one, he can still wait and pray for God's timing.  I know of many married couples whose courtship began this way." ~Elisabeth Elliot 

So, this is pretty obvious, right?  Still, I didn't want to over-spiritualize or be looking for things, so I tried to keep a level head.  (Ok, you can stop laughing now.  I know level-headedness is not one of my character qualities.)  I just wanted to be very sure before I shared anything of what I felt with him because I cared about him deeply and didn't want to wound his heart over something I may or may not be certain about.  So, I prayed that the Lord would give me a great big flashing neon sign!

The next evening, Jamie called.  He had moved to L.A. over the weekend and wanted to come see me.  I wondered if the Lord wanted me to share with him what was on my heart.  I prayed and waited.  Nothing.  After a couple of hours he got up to leave.  I was convinced I wasn't to say anything.

early dating days of '92

I  stood to hug him and found I could not let go.  Even if I tried, I would not have been able to tear myself from him.  So I clung to him and started shaking.  HOW TOTALLY EMBARRASSING!!!  ...and weird!  He asked, "Are you ok?"  I said, "Yes."  He asked, "Are you trembling or is that me?"  "It's me," I said.  Then I blurted out, "I don't know what's going on, but I've been missing you and thinking of you."  I think he was in shock.  So, he pulled me over to the couch so we could talk.  He told me he had been praying for the Lord to change my heart for years...but especially the past month and a half.

Well, it worked!  I finally saw in him everything I always wanted.

And Jesus said, "Do you believe I am able to do this?"

They said to Him, "Yes, Lord."

Then He touched their eyes saying, "Let it be done to you according to your faith."

~Matthew 9:28-29

We were married 4 months later.







P.S. Join me in the Completing Him Challenge.  I am several months behind, but hey!  Better late than never!