Tuesday, January 4, 2011

He was there.

ok, so I already have an update on the whole cruise ship fiasco.

I think that since it has been such an unresolved experience for me, putting it out there and being transparent about it has opened up an opportunity for me to find some healing through many of you who gave some beautiful insight to what the purpose may have been. Also, wouldn't you know that God spoke to me about it through Steve's message on Sunday?  Sooooo good is our God.

I hope this new string of insights into my life isn't TMI (too much information), but I feel like if I am to be an open book, then I ought to just record it here.  My friend, Dan, asked me if I kept a record of these posts so my children could one day read them.  I have found a company (Blog2Print) that will print my blog into a book format.  I have had two printed thus far.  Memoirs of a life, I guess.  Not that I am any more special than the next person, I just want my kids and those I love to know and learn from my experiences, and to know that my heart's desire above all is Jesus.

ok, so back to the subject at hand:
If you'll remember in my story about the cruise ship (this scenario is in part 3), I describe a feeling of being lost...like God had lost me and didn't know where I was and how I would lean on the rail of the top deck of the ship in the dark night and look out over the beautiful Mediterranean and wonder, "God, do You know I am here?  Do you know how rejected and depleted I am?"  I really felt like I had taken a turn and God didn't see it, and He had lost me.
So, this past Sunday, Steve (my pastor) had us turn to Psalm 139.  Of course I am a huge fan of Psalm 139 since it so boldly speaks of God creating us and knowing our days before there was even one of them.  It is such proof that life begins BEFORE the womb and thus squashes the abortion argument.  Surprisingly, this was not the message for me that morning.  Verses 7-10:
Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.
Then Steve speaks these words (mind you, he does not read my blog):
"David in Jerusalem, looking out to the east and on the horizon there, the sun is just coming up, and the sun beams shooting like on the wing, flying across to the west to the uttermost parts of the Mediterranean.  I think that in a sense what He is saying is, 'If I were to hop on one of those sunbeams as it's coming up and fly with that sunbeam to the remotest part of the Mediterranean, even there You're going to be with me and You're going to help me.  I can't get away from You.  If I get in a boat and I flee west on the Mediterranean, You're gonna be there.'"
If you don't believe me that these were his EXACT words, feel free to listen to it yourself here.  (About 9 and a half minutes into the sermon.)

So, I guess that question is answered!

May Your Presence Go With Us 
by Dan Moen

If Your presence doesn't go with us
Lord we don't want to leave this place
Lord we need You near
As we go from here
To lead us by Your love and grace
May Your presence fill us everyday
May Your Spirit lead the way
Lord to You we call
Let Your glory fall
And may Your presence go with us

If we have found favor in Your sight
Show us Your ways O Lord
Cause we want to know You
And live in Your light For all of our days
Show us Your ways

We have our hopes
And we have our dreams
But we cannot go
Where You will not lead
Lord to You we call
Let Your glory fall
And may Your presence go with us

 (This was taped to my wall while on the ship.)

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