Well, honestly it's a little hard at first. You know, shutting down my lifeline to the world...but once I've done it, it feels right and I have more time for real life. Real moments. Real conversations. Real, tangible PEOPLE. Not that you reading this are not tangible, but while I write, in that moment the only tangible thing is a digital, gray box with lots of buttons, no color, no personality...except the occasional insubordination in the form of lethargy, deletion of everything I just wrote, and other ways computers tend to act up and misbehave.
I guess I have a love/hate relationship with my computer, the internet, and even my cell phone at times. I often cringe when my cell phone rings. Who is it? Will they require work? Will they ask a question I don't know the answer to? I notice this bad attitude in myself more during parade crunch time (like now). Stress time.
At my original writing of this post, I write in my journal. Remember those? You know...paper. pen. The old-fashioned way. One thing I do love about my computer is I can type much faster than I can write, so the thoughts have more of a chance to be recorded than with a pen. Although, I actually enjoy very much hand writing. Anyway, I mention my time on pen and paper because there is a reason I did it this way originally.
FEAR.
I'm afraid to turn my computer on.
How many more emails are in my inbox? I was sitting at well over 200 when I shut down yesterday. Who has criticized my latest facebook post?
Bottom line: What will I have to deal with when I turn my computer on? What unknowns await me that will keep me in virtual-land longer than I intend? (Mostly because I am drawn in and have zero self-control.)
I like the time when my computer is O-F-F.
Maybe I should just invest in a typewriter.
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